The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

July 31, 2001



oh going through x-treme hysteria
it's the result of

packing up
 a game the bones play w/ me

 how it goes: i take drugs as much as possible
 to get through the violence of this move

  (to miami but it could be anywhere)

   then i turn to a few things of accompaniment, azure for one,
   then there are the machines (in miami but they could be anywhere)

   they're more than familiar, they're family
   they don't fight with me and don't make me feel guilty
   they remember everything
   they carry everything and they're willing to share it

   they allow me to read and see and hear anything i want, anything they
   have, they're generous that way

   they're gentle, too, placing their memories on disk after disk,
   carrying themselves on long past the endurance of the hardware, of
   machine part adjacent to machine part, electronic conduit adjacent to
   sluice gate, irrigation channels of programs and files

   they remember me, they always greet me in a loving and similar fashion,
   they turn themselves through protocols and articulations no matter
   where they are on this fine earth

   miami is an enemy and harsh and already i a mistrustful
   but the machines will save me, the machines will show me everything i
   have done, everything they have accomplished, all our potentials

   the machines are communities and communalities, they're gentle with me,
   they know what i am capable of, certainly they know my limitations

      they are always waiting, they are never sleeping, they are
      potentials of pure presence, presencing itself

      they are existence, existencing

      they will fight off the suicidal depressions of miami, they will
      give me momentary respite, they will allow me to share this with
      you, to share everything with you

      they know me better than anyone except azure, they even like me

      they like me better than anyone in miami, who remain foreign and
      unknown to me, i must always be on my guard in miami, i must never
      let myself go

      but with the machines, with the machines, everything is possible

      with the machines, with my beautiful wife and the machines, i will
      perhaps survive, although slightly

      although in possible fury and depression
      although in possible anger and despair

	  i an being allowed to write this, i have checked this with the
	  laptop and the notebook and azure, i have checked this as well
	  with the desktop, all are in agreement


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