The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

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re\cap


"of the real and virtual jennifer, julu, alan, nikuko. of the real, alan
is a character but alan is also a stain or residue, almost always alan
wants to disappear but engrave in stone. alan wants to engrave everything
in stone and then rails against totality. it's almost as if alan wishes
that nikuko speaks through alan, both or nothing come out but different,
not therapy or recuperation or balance, but a mess that takes off on its
own: alan with the 9 millimeter, nikuko, they occupy an aspect ratio. alan
thinks: better to return to coding, almost dead here. and scatter-bombs
and the locus of quality text. ./alan ./azure cannot be executed. execute
./.alan. execute ./.azure. locus of destroyed leaflets: hidden azure /
hidden alan = .azure | .alan - no one passes. pipe damage in the ennui-
sector op. nikuko - she manipulated protocols of alan." "alan was gone
among them and gone among all exhausted women." "alan will be killed off
by all exhausted women"


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what i do keeps me alive, you have to understand, you really have to
understand what: No hey's found.  what i write yesterday, do you hear me,
is already a week a month old; what i write the day before is distant
memory; what i write now is already gone before its time what: No hey's
found. what: No hey's found. what: No hey's found.  i am stalling you; i
am stalling myself; i am stalling everything and nothing; see: i think
clearly; see: i | this to you; this to you | i; what i write stays in
shreds; you will read my shreds; you will be found; i will be found in you
/usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found
/usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: see:: not found
/usr/local/bin/ksh: see:: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: this: not found
/usr/local/bin/ksh: this: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found what:
No hey's found. /usr/local/bin/ksh: you: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh:
you: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: i: not found  please read me; please
keep me alive /usr/local/bin/ksh: please: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh:
please: not found  what you will do; there is no time left; there is
every time left; what will you do; what will you do what: No hey's found.
/usr/local/bin/ksh: there: not found /usr/local/bin/ksh: there: not found
what: No hey's found. what: No hey's found.  what will you do


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