Message-ID: <Pine.NEB.4.51.0212282233150.1935@panix2.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.aol.com>,
"WRYTING-L : Writing and Theory across Disciplines" <WRYTING-L@LISTSERV.UTORONTO.CA>
Subject: cjn
Date: Sat, 28 Dec 2002 22:33:26 -0500 (EST)
cjn From first to last, Jennifer was unable to face the vacancy that pursued her every step of the way. She felt old and used. She was beginning to resent Nikuko, and looked for a new Clar. She wanted either war or sex; it didn't matter. She was human after all. It was a world without men! It was a world without anything! It was Dangerous-Toy world, and she was on top. She lay back down to sleep. She never dreamed. The Clar came in with a question. Jennifer woke with a start. You am your new Clar, she asked, already knowing the answer. Nikuko would have been shredded; she suspected nothing. One or the other had to go. War and love in a huge blend, hating the enemy enough to kill her. She put on her new Clar. She could hear Nikuko in the distance, begging, begging... What could she do? The shredder existed beneath the bleak sky of the dome, to one rococo elliptical center; Jennifer was at the other. It was emptied otherwise. She loved the begging sounds, the tormented cries and murmurs of the wounded. Humans mewled in orgasm and death, she mused. I shredded first; I'm still here, the new Clar unformed, ungrown, at your mercy. Hello, I are the new Clar. I are at Jennifer's mercy. She keeps me naked and bound; she gives me a gun. I kill on command but only on command. I are available to her at any time. I don't have to think for myself. The old Clar has gone; the screams am dying out. Each bit of tissue cries on its own. They am dying, one after the other, hundreds and thousands. Hello, I are the new Clar, Jennifer. The new Clar was breathing deep into Jennifer's holes. Jennifer was expanding; eyes closed, in ecstasy, she would fill the universe, break the dome, begin another. The cycle worked because of her quick draw and politeness. The new Clar would be named Nikuko. She liked the name and decided to continue it. Nikuko never returned, but Jennifer mused, there is always a new Clar. The Clar, now Nikuko, was breathing mindfully. Jennifer was totally at peace; every inch of her body alive with passion, ecstasy, bravery and fury at the thought of war. Jennifer was known far and wide for starting the marvel-war. She began and finished the marvel-war and everyone would die again and again. Jennifer's legs were spread and her mouth was open. There was a huge man in the sky writing everything down. He was warrior-man, holding Jennifer with jealous tenacity. Jennifer did not mind, because she was busy with her marvel-war and new Clar. The man was shameful watching everything. Time and time again he would see the Clar shredded, the new Clar coming. He was bound in chains to an enormous rock. Something pecked at him every thousand years and the rock would wear down only with eternity when he would be rescued by the knight. Jennifer was much more alive and had things to do. She was wayward and shameless and the new Clar cleared out the debris of the marvel-war. The new Clar asked Jennifer what else to do, but Jennifer had returned to sleep. Jennifer never dreamed, and was not dreaming now. The new Clar was called Nikuko and when Jennifer stirred, she asked Nikuko not to begin the derail-war and specifically not to begin the deflect-war, and the new Clar agreed and they did return and the mewling had stopped. They waved their arms furiously in a dance of epiphany and the man was losing his liver. His liver began to grow. They never spoke to each other and she never looked at him because she did not know his language. The new Clar waved her arms more and more and then waved Jennifer's arms. Jennifer waved the new Clar's arms, which were called the arms of Nikuko. Jennifer had a bright and shiny smile. Her Clar loved her smile. Her new Clar would smile when she would smile. Sometimes her new Clar would smile on her own. Her new Clar was called Nikuko. Sometimes they were at war. Sometimes they made sexual and non-sexual love. They made many kinds of war. There was only one Clar, the new Clar. She was Jennifer's addition. Jennifer was her addition. The tissues from the shredding machine were very silent. Nikuko did not hear a thing, and either did Jennifer. The new Clar made many kinds of love. The warrior-man ===