Message-ID: <Pine.NEB.4.53.0303031135260.24464@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.aol.com>,
"WRYTING-L : Writing and Theory across Disciplines" <WRYTING-L@LISTSERV.UTORONTO.CA>
Subject: state of mind
Date: Mon, 3 Mar 2003 11:35:37 -0500 (EST)
state of mind "the carrier is ready to leave, with thousands of americans ready for war." (WCBS) my friend and i think we will die in the next two months, from some as yet unknown violence. new york is under furious regimens, the alert level remaining high in spite of the rest of the country. almost everyone i know is out of work. george bush rides hard with the shield of his presidency into other countries; we have become a traditional 19th-century colonial power overnight. i fear disappearing, the sudden knock at the door, the brute force of anonymous men. every text i write points to my guilt in this and every other matter. america has transformed within the hour; there will be no next election, as the country is placed under trumped up emergency powers. the soldiery already sides with bush; every evening, patriotic soldiers, who have never voted anyway, appear on the evening news. new york will have the highest building in the world, in five years, another target, as the city continues its doomed path to armageddon. we are certain there is nuclear material here, ready to explode. i no longer sleep at night, instead replaying the rhetoric of massacre and slaughter i hear daily on the radio. the government has become monolithic, the president listening to three or four men at the most. the cadre is inspired by god and the mission of god. the country is held captive, as we protest, realizing only violence will end violence, only slaughter will end slaughter. as citizens we live in confusion and anxiety, watching our nightmares turn real. we have abandoned the community of the world, the internet a pale reminder of what we might have been. smiling earnest troops are filmed leaving on enormous carriers. we offer billions in aid to countries that accept our troops, while the stock market continues to crash here, and the number of homeless rapidly increases. the nation is thrown off balance, all formal energy tending towards military action. it is hard to focus as we walk in fear of domestic terrorists from above, other terrorists from within. for the first time we live in absolute impotency, speaking to ourselves, waiting for everything and nothing at all. this morning i saw two flashes, then nothing. sometimes there are sounds. the meaninglessness of the world asserts itself at every turn. we will not have to wait much longer, we will wait forever. the cadre has the names, and dates. the cadre is absolute, and every absolute is evil. ===