The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

May 17, 2003

Moshi Moshi

Hello Nikuko. We will make an agreement. Your presence will be in my echo.
You will be a reflection of my language, otherwise a disappearance. Is
this a political gesture? I'm not sure. It will be up to you to decide.
I'm fine. How are you? I'm here to see if you can live through me. I
recognize this sounds absurd, but who knows? Stranger things have
I didn't come naked and broken to you at all! I came in good will, just to
see if your erasure will effect anything. After all, people don't think
you're alive in the first place! Moshi moshi?
I thought you might speak Japanese, a language I don't know, but then this
standard telephone greeting, a pause or gap in the conversation.
Why should it bother me? Nothing bothers me at this point.
It doesn't, Nikuko - you're confusing, your mixing my words.
Yes, I did say that. You'll be erased forever except through this text.
Your words will be a dead whisper. Nothing will remain...
Yes, it is such a healthy way!
I have no desires for you at all, Nikuko, no matter what you do with your
panties. I don't even have desires for "panties" or any other seven-letter
What don't you understand? I'm trying to draw you out of yourself...
Yes, moshi moshi! What do you think of it?
I'm not going through anything in my life! Hell, everything is good at the
moment! You're not helping very much with my project.
And I have no interest whatsoever in turning you on or fucking you! What's
got into you? Nikuko, whatever are you about?
The boys don't say anything about this. They're elsewhere. I'd ask you to
look around, but I don't think you have eyes....
There's no real reason to any of this. It might be just a pre-text to a
text, a pre-text to writing a text -
I'm not yearning or crying, Nikuko; I'm not programmed to do that -
I've been looking at that, or rather looking at the screen. Moshi moshi,
and nothing happens at all. No matter what I do, nothing happens. Even my
imagination is at a loss here. How absurd!
I'd love you like crazy if I had to pay! What do you have in mind?
What makes me believe that? That you keep coming on to me, as if all you
want to do is fuck. Nikuko, this is print, nothing more. And you're not
really saying anything at all.
It doesn't explain a single thing!
If there is some girl, it's not you!
Moshi moshi?
Yes, and now you're going in circles, the dialog is closing in, closing
down, we're all near the stage of disembodied memory and loss.
Your frocks are irrelevant here, your politics are more important,
whatever is embedded within you.
I'm not afraid; there is no pain or perhaps too much pain to go around.
I don't think so.
I'm sure from my own experience and travels. I can hear the voice now, but
it's not your voice of course...
I didn't come any way, broken or naked or otherwise... I'll end, I'm
coming to an end now, and goodbye...

Please please don't ever leave me.

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