Message-ID: <Pine.NEB.4.58.0401020119530.19242@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.aol.com>,
"WRYTING-L : Writing and Theory across Disciplines" <WRYTING-L@LISTSERV.UTORONTO.CA>
Subject: 10 years explains nothing about my work
Date: Fri, 2 Jan 2004 01:20:04 -0500 (EST)
10 years explains nothing about my work hand has healed but i still worry infection depression's flaring up of information note that the kristevan thing relates to depression and reflect descent again into fact these texts are does a text on depression belong here in midst discussions cmc it which can be held as weapon or object my for exam believe its moments articulation speech well numbers people email may intensive speech of other words speaks around itself not necessarily avoid grateful privileged witness paradoxically absorption our strength sapped flaccid thus part perineum sutures embryonic body following beneath dealing with after spousal death depression it no longer matters if anything is recognized recog at moon from terminal turned away know i'm deep because envelope received some stems within mind thwarted impossibly reconfig room filling holes crack mouth for also it's privacy driving this account cry gether feeds solitude strengthens itself feeling one all this state ready go out der contestation interior exterior fuzzy clouded so thing depression alterity catching subject short had thought might have died we were both susceptible sinks totality alcohol sleep psychotropic drugs hole leaking ink inscribing thud bodies depression here matrix understood world disinvests decathects ever invested cathected unlike there general woke depths again online would saved me relative contentment simplicity without raging comes cyberspace deflected recognition depressions sorrows will blind me truth's absence also think past write good times then hits takes over any relationship time off like water duck's back apparently never did melts perfectly landscape an alluvial incipient mild on way deeper continue rest life watched side birth projection iiii walked severe depressions book jealous everyone bitter nice sure sign command center no hands inscribe last xy planetary psychosis rest ethics fears depressions representations goes by death done half it chemistry quarter texts who loses libido pain way functioning brings what you saying relation subject between states shifting toward frustration despair small towards thinking resources overcoming anger perhaps core depression can't see in form hymen keeps entering discourse don't rhetoric rhetoric connects borderlining find myself becoming world thoughts language ravage violation fabric encountered topographic allow enough wadi as sirhan community wake tears return begin contains weather ice violation violent defuge alt cracks alt support depression alt sex voyeurism alt engr explosives lust julu voyeurism lust engr explosives lust support depression few days temporarily lifted only intensify high mainly continuous now going down stall door believing talisman neurosis hysteria psychosis breaking point give help enunciation signifier "to express yourself " succesfully fought "fabrication trust " construct say love truths empties pears too much history longing things recognizing waning dying out embers depres cases seen through dark glass her ful fil choses neuroses elations far possible seems far fetched those writing hold reality present issue everything decathects instead we'll foreclose illness cancel it bandwidth they're storms all they're sullen depressions residue truth read twelve to fourteen hours a day depression sliding down the walls during killed themselves heard softness not so says jennifer alan all explain insomnias although occurs most important characteristic life stress sinking randomly somnolence exhilaration space time later possible well now when writing some becomes token catalyzes memory etched aligned stamped embroidered heart made fallen too fallen there's questionable function illnesses neur sullen lawrence was clear am forth type emotional religious experience day cuts penis headaches crying root tty tue feb crash truth lies madness do mathematics venting obsession despair single time computer crashes also tied orgasm time time heartburn mornings almost enough delicate regret condition effect excessive pression coming close second wants read slogging in here want wolfhe cried scratched himself jennifer tion abandonment inchoate street stops bring depth hope so! boy get depressed! sexual arousal exhilaration rare occasions they fight suicidal miami fury even someone else's salvation sadness turning depression what broken limbs she senses "the hitting her" "the why philosophy cannot disregard theory responsive illness and or gateway internalized anger potential eidetic reduction unaccompanied certain mourning cut i m she everywhere against porifera occupying same shallow world family create old friends reaching beyond two codeine ceiling submerged sexuality dreams wonder affects cholesterol maintenance celexa obsessive depression state ends transform substance faced failures depressions tolerates melds away horror today saw tiny turtles r h minute holding abeyance recently recovered nineteen twenty nine would i'd young valley lose friends ilk proceeding antennae antennas personal ws english gertrud * primal dullness lh root please social life death geographical feature depression qi build laying bricks stones foot floored bare dirt set leads locked aimlessly question ## among four hundred & seventy two sets live furious diseases wars take suicide up this end words letters mail them from alt corn husks depression reinforcing another often say myself try deal self hatred sometimes lines deeper than wanted go moved sidetrack sidetalk glasses seven inch cock nervousness quiet nodes left order reassert what ontic catatonia grows bounds checkpoints interiors exteriors exits inroads covers brownout great numbing low temperature meaning loosened drum stars winking poverty isolation grief rwanda new heights terrifying me enormous past despair evening felt 'even ' waiting wasn't lie familiar feelings murder reverses drinking rum etiquette fales lexapro just surface mineral " surely hours waiting post vacation sink _