The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

10 years explains nothing about my work

hand has healed  but i still worry infection  depression's flaring up of
information   note that the kristevan thing relates to depression  and
reflect descent again into fact these texts are does a text on depression
belong here  in midst discussions cmc   it  which can be held as weapon or
object   my  for exam  believe its moments articulation speech  well
numbers people  email may intensive  speech of  other words  speaks around
itself  not necessarily avoid  grateful privileged witness  paradoxically
absorption  our strength sapped  flaccid  thus part perineum sutures
embryonic body following beneath

 dealing with after spousal death depression  it no longer matters if
anything is recognized recog  at moon  from terminal turned away  know i'm
deep because envelope  received some stems within mind  thwarted
impossibly reconfig  room  filling holes  crack  mouth  for also it's

 privacy  driving this account   cry  gether  feeds solitude  strengthens
itself feeling one all   this  state  ready go out der contestation
interior exterior fuzzy  clouded  so  thing  depression  alterity
catching subject short  had thought might have died  we were both
susceptible sinks totality  alcohol  sleep  psychotropic drugs hole
leaking ink  inscribing thud bodies depression   here matrix understood
world disinvests  decathects ever invested  cathected  unlike there
general  woke depths again  online would saved me  relative contentment
simplicity  without raging comes cyberspace deflected recognition
depressions sorrows will blind me truth's absence also  think past  write
good times then hits takes over any relationship time  off like water
duck's back apparently never did melts perfectly landscape an alluvial
incipient mild  on way deeper  continue rest life      watched side birth
projection          iiii walked severe depressions  book  jealous
everyone  bitter nice  sure sign command center no  hands inscribe last

 xy planetary psychosis rest ethics fears depressions representations goes
by death done half it chemistry quarter texts who loses libido pain way
functioning brings what you saying relation subject between states
shifting toward frustration despair small towards thinking resources
overcoming anger perhaps core depression can't see in form hymen keeps
entering discourse don't rhetoric rhetoric connects borderlining find
myself becoming world thoughts language ravage violation fabric
encountered topographic allow enough wadi as sirhan community wake tears
return begin contains weather ice violation violent defuge alt cracks alt
support depression alt sex voyeurism alt engr explosives lust julu
voyeurism lust engr explosives lust support depression few days
temporarily lifted only intensify high mainly continuous now going down
stall door believing talisman neurosis hysteria psychosis breaking point
give help enunciation signifier "to express yourself " succesfully fought
"fabrication trust " construct say love truths empties pears too much
history longing things recognizing waning dying out embers depres cases
seen through dark glass her ful fil choses neuroses elations far possible
seems far fetched those writing hold reality present issue everything
decathects instead we'll foreclose illness cancel it bandwidth  they're
storms all they're sullen depressions   residue truth read

twelve to fourteen hours a day  depression sliding down the walls during
killed themselves heard  softness  not so  says jennifer   alan all
explain insomnias although occurs  most important characteristic life
stress sinking randomly somnolence  exhilaration  space time  later
possible well now  when writing  some  becomes token catalyzes memory
etched aligned stamped embroidered heart  made fallen  too  fallen
there's questionable function illnesses  neur  sullen  lawrence was clear
am forth   type emotional religious experience  day      cuts penis
headaches    crying   root tty  tue feb         crash         truth lies
madness do mathematics venting obsession  despair  single time  computer
crashes        also tied orgasm time time   heartburn mornings  almost
enough  delicate regret  condition effect excessive pression coming close
second  wants read    slogging in  here want wolfhe cried scratched
himself jennifer tion abandonment  inchoate street stops bring depth  hope
so! boy  get depressed!  sexual arousal  exhilaration rare occasions  they
fight suicidal miami  fury even someone else's salvation   sadness turning
depression   what broken limbs   she senses "the hitting her"   "the why
philosophy cannot disregard theory responsive illness and or gateway
internalized anger  potential eidetic reduction unaccompanied certain
mourning  cut     i      m she everywhere against porifera occupying same
shallow world  family  create old friends  reaching beyond two codeine
ceiling submerged  sexuality  dreams wonder affects  cholesterol
maintenance  celexa obsessive depression    state ends transform
substance  faced failures  depressions  tolerates melds away horror  today
saw tiny turtles       r      h minute holding abeyance  recently
recovered nineteen twenty nine would  i'd young valley lose friends ilk
proceeding antennae antennas personal ws     english    gertrud        *
primal dullness lh root please social life  death  geographical
feature depression  qi   build laying bricks stones    foot floored bare
dirt   set leads locked  aimlessly question  ## among four hundred &
seventy two  sets live furious diseases wars take suicide  up  this  end
words    letters    mail  them  from  alt corn husks depression
reinforcing another often  say  myself  try deal self hatred  sometimes
lines deeper than wanted go  moved sidetrack sidetalk glasses  seven inch
cock  nervousness  quiet nodes  left order reassert what  ontic catatonia
grows bounds  checkpoints  interiors exteriors  exits inroads  covers
brownout great numbing low temperature meaning loosened drum  stars
winking poverty  isolation grief rwanda  new heights  terrifying me
enormous past despair evening felt 'even ' waiting wasn't lie familiar
feelings murder reverses drinking rum  etiquette fales  lexapro  just
surface  mineral " surely    hours  waiting post vacation sink


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