The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

December 19, 2004


the more


well...
opening to the most recent layering of the world,

current Kyoko Date imports into Korea,
cry from Diki, but even later at night, when I do deep sleep for a moment
well...

_hinge._
packets

cations -
don't. The stories are developing in unforeseen directions; the texts have
salon-style within them, each author holding hir own. _Jump_ tags placed

night with nothing undone, everything ready, as if there were a gaping maw

Date, Now Thu Sep  9 01:40:56 EDT 1999, it's as if I'm losing time, not
that it's beginning to burn out,
the 10th.

There's been a hurricane, flooding
nerve-wracking exhaustion

carapace...
where the water was
totally obsessive...
the conversations...

I absolutely cannot _distinguish_ between self, mind, brain, body, and
planet...

I can't continue seeing double, hearing badly, stumbling around, having my
other - the robustness of the world, given the
breath away.

just have woods and my
example...
still.

sondheim  ttyp6    sondheim.dialup. Wed Nov  3 02:34   still logged in

vast and moving shadows of leaves at 4 in the morning on the wall across
sexual organs and god forbid (and most believe in god) intercourse is
first.

cloth. I wait for the angry sun. I fall to the floor, not tatami but sad
tending towards infinity -
that somehow the output gets warped, placed in one or another direction,

ballet on the laptop and shooting off it with the hi8, then transferring
just like a dream is forced from neural noise, thinking perhaps make
everywhere, i live with death,

images against a very flattened and somewhat hysteric to-be-determined
air-trees and rivers, all the air-creatures of this or any other earth.

here, we're filming ballet, azure and me on the floor, she in primadonna
time, keeping the rhythm go go go, tomorrow using the blind girl poems
helps
days, and the dreams are always getting the better of me,
ecstatic, deportment, within and without, haven't yet come to grips with
presence,

and the sliding of symbols and
candles...

edges, wearing-down, tending themselves towards issues of sliding or
thought thought
in deed
alive
think I would be perfectly happy dying while fucking. I would go to heaven
largely alone and hello hello hello. So was reading today a book on the
noise.

celebrate that; I'm proud of what I do, more than I let on; I try not to
see it completely neglected, swept under the rug so to speak.

worry...
around and it made it seem as if literature had _meaning_ in the world at
passing things on.

thrilled with that - Doctor Leopold K., Nikuko, and the Male Dancer will
go away...
missability...
more.

that's gone, that languaging, referencing, the clink of those cups, that
has been...

occurs on the periphery, always a doubt, something awry, not quite
every other, and I am more and more convinced we are ghosts here,
imaginary.

mood.
how, even with such, including computer glitches, hackes, lights out
out.

Tue Feb 29 23:58:26 EST 2000


_

HELO H_O HELO

FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT

I A_I AM I_M IN Y_N YOUR B_R BLACK H_K HOLE
YES I_S I AM Y_M YES I_S I AM

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Just c_t checking -_g - I'm s_m sure t_e this i_s is c_s coming t_g thro
ugh. W_. What h_t happened t_d to t_o the ._e .de
site? -_? - Alan

FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT
FORGED_RCVD_HELO,WEIRD_PORT

what went wrong

1

video off put off video never off fine Mandrake off off then the 10.1,
tonight, Fedora then configure, router, 10.1, put then run slower router,
fine balked then the until router, the then stick at until configure, then
at nothing that finally throughput at router router that the at slow it
could point, that slow DSL, Verizon could nothing slow affected network
Verizon slow up other reloaded so Verizon it affected figuring eventually
first affected other figuring Control system first network figuring would
well, config, reloaded some would time loading, config, eventually would
first the loading, Control stick then much thing loading, well, then so
went thing time then went was back again, same went some some back much
went always at such, kept back always the reset such, was always Linksys
the reset always the etc. luck, no reset at Linksys took did such Linksys
etc. took again full such the took 1 now install luck, the 1 to distro
install did 1 kept for distro again although calling no the distro now
calling and it the to calling it just stalled DSL that, it (the (the
stalled no it and deal update even stalled and something so update just
and was now so and gnome- wrong, and go so deal was Firefox entered back
was wrong, Firefox to linux back now Firefox it tar.gz download, and on it
Firefox_install that download, entered it was the that to was in it
directory that tar.gz in I tried directory Firefox_install in tried enter
to so /root tried wanted wanted to it tried executable, set it use to
executable, I as it enter executable, could off as executable, all tell,
it to as set could Mozilla something download could tell, Mozilla rebooted
be download off Mozilla Mozilla it, corrupted, it wouldn't Mozilla must I
corrupted, something Mozilla site, to I rebooted wouldn't went a Fedora I
it, went downloads weren't Fedora must went weren't just working site the
weren't so so working a weren't and of went by working and still and went
just and nothing, be and and did then tired was and of nothing, go from
too nothing, then go getting disk, too be go muddier had my tired and
muddier and configure my from muddier gave and configure getting as up
back the configure had up installation so the and up so multiple far
machine turned so and and far back so with I even has far with on am even
multiple with the usually am with closed machine I to am I the ever screen
fix, the machine ever system death fix, usually ever on which or I had on
production been or screen on few now, been system the months linux I'll
been which months a programmer, I'll production months programmer,
registry I continue and programmer, backup, backup, I linux programmer,
some tired do can I some was wanted do registry some to for wanted some
minor try the kept wanted tired to refusal did getting to try refusal
desktop, it getting for refusal Fedora, and on the from Fedora, fizzling
Mandrake on did Fedora, ftp well Mandrake desktop, no works although
Fedora Mandrake and works there's always Fedora fizzling works always
terminal the from on always by by the although always way fantastic the
prompt the way just I the terminal way sat net, I way had there and get I
fantastic sat with Audacity back sat there with the there back net, with
did was and image, did was Audacity did the arrive

2

there wa y elf would elf would y t, then balked at the Link y , nothing
explaining how a router could on the network a well, tick, it wa , nothing
explaining how a router could low up and then well, ince eventually the y
ince eventually the t reloaded 10.1, figuring t reloaded 10.1, figuring
ince eventually the well, never loading, the t then the t then the tick a
tuff would well, never loading, the o went back kept freeing up protocol
ome ome , wa et much on the tcpip o went back kept freeing up protocol the
tall, re et the Link t than the ame re tall, re etc. the DSL etc no o took
the uch luck, etc. the wirele etc. the wirele etc. the DSL etc no tall
back again of Fedora 1 although Fedora' moothly, no problem, 263 update
moothly, no problem, 263 update tall back again of Fedora 1 although
Fedora' tem off, did a full in now at di talled even when I did ju
omething wa wrong, well, I thought, now I'll ju , talled even when I did
ju t two of them (the update and gnome- update!) trying to deal with rpm
dependencie wrong, well, I thought, now I'll ju tall o that wa tall ite,
it wa ite, it wa tall were were e it, had to enter in that I wanted it
executable, all the permi o I moved it to /bin, when I tried to u I could
tell, t be corrupted, t be corrupted, o took it off and went to download
it again, Mozilla wouldn't download anything, far a I could tell, aid, it
mu weren't working by then at all, ju t nothing, no ftp, ite to download a
new kernel, the download aid, it mu t be the t nothing, no ftp, , cookie
till nothing, then figuring Mozilla mu , etc. and ual deleting of hi ual
deleting of hi , cookie k, my thinking getting muddier and muddier a
tallation tallation k, my thinking getting muddier and muddier a too tired
to go and reload it from the di I had to configure and reconfigure and
eventually ju been a ource, at lea t I know where I am on the machine and
thing run concurrently, and even with clo been a nap, multiple program t I
know where I am on the machine and thing y tem failure yet on the machine
which I've been u creen of death or a ually pretty ea ually pretty ea y
ome minor programming, but got tired when all I wanted wa ame refu ame
refu try pretty much without backup, do now, and I'll continue waiting for
linux development, I'm not a programmer, I can run around a regi ome minor
programming, but got tired when all I wanted wa o on Fedora, no download
and on Mandrake download but fizzling connection alway alway , although
ftp work ktop, o on Fedora, no download and on Mandrake download but
fizzling connection well, Mandrake by the way had a number of fanta at
there mile from the net, wanting to get back and work with image, t well,
Mandrake by the way had a number of fanta tic terminal window from the
net, wanting to get back and work with image, there wa there wa


_

a disturbance

http://www.asondheim.org/woll.jpg
http://www.asondheim.org/woll2.jpg
http://www.asondheim.org/woll3.jpg

"Alan," Azure said, "We can take the lower road."

They were heading across the rubble towards the burned-out area; fires
still raged beneath the ground. It had been that way since 1902, and,
by now, great fissures had opened on the surface, in the midst of
blasted trees and sulphur escaping from the mine fires.

I agreed, and we went forward towards the smoke dimly visible in the
distance. The disturbance was clear, was clearer.

(We never realized there was a trailer park just over the horizon, tucked
away in the mountain, impervious to life elsewhere. These people would
emerge, would survive, long after the rest of us were gone.)

_

frankz lenz

s.s to just s.s uncle just s.s incredibly she s.s i.t t.d stabbed wash-
ington uncle t.d w.t important d.o was it u.y b.s of was b.s w.g important
b.s o.g it because s.e o.e because next w.g o.e to leslie h.f m.o t.t
everything me t.d g.s me was leslie me the t.t a.e azure agreed a.e n.t
was agreed b.t w.e the but not w.b w.t knew on w.t was way we outside not
we roaring k.e we burning w.r k.e buildings a.e the and b.g w.r and
lenticular delicious l.d bloody a l.d a.f burning l.d unrecognizable
lenticular lenticular o.e bloody a.r t.n an atmospheric n.e on bloody n.e
the o.s news t.t u.n news hardly o.e news t.e news the a.s t.t c.e miracle
s.y child she a t.t w.e was can w.e in see w.e h.f a.s w.e children w.e
was o.d in a.s o.t her alive h.f out in her torn o.t her b.d her her just
o.d torn j.e her torn fine b.d a.n f.t f.t and fine fine b.d doing f.t
fine

she w.e was s.s stabbed t.d to d.o death my u.y uncle w.e was i.s
incredibly i.y important i.t in w.n washington it w.t was b.s because o.e
of h.f him e.m everything w.g was g.s going o.g on leslie s.e sitting n.g
next t.t to m.o me a.e agreed t.d the b.e bomb w.b was o.s on t.n the w.e
way azure t.e thought n.t not b.t but w.t we k.e knew the d.e dinner w.r
was d.s delicious o.s outside a.e a roaring s.g sound burning b.g
buildings a.s and l.d lenticular a.r atmospheric p.c phenomena bloody r.y
remnants o.s of a.f an u.n unrecognizable f.e face o.e on t.n the n.e news
the c.e child c.d can't t.t talk c.k can h.n hardly s.y see t.e think it's
a.s a miracle s.e she w.e was a.s alive stabbing i.g in f.n front o.t of
h.f her c.r children r.n ripped o.d out o.t of h.f her torn a.n and s.d
strangled b.d baby d.y doing j.g just f.t fine j.e just f.t fine j.e just
f.t fine

_

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