The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

March 10, 2005

this is the one of the crenellated towers in the spectrum created
from a comb filter produced by the reading of a nineteenth-century comb
remember it turned three-dimensional with the spectrum
but still retains a relationship to the crystal palace or crystal
remember you forgot to remove the coordinates
this began as the fetish.jpg remember it was taken from a digital image
made in the miami apartment shooting up from the ground with a flash
azure and i wearing robes this one is me and the robe was parted by
the erection like the tent of abraham was it
that image elsewhere then taken through a floyd-steinberg filter
that changes it into something like photogravure which was then sent
through photoshop
remember at first everything became messier or relatively confused
but then you applied the neon filter which lit up the edges and after
a while the result then was faded
remember you tried different kinds of fading and this one worked
turning it back into an odd three-dimensionality all the the while
you're feeling ill and feverish with a bad allergic attack and more
think it might be the flu in any case you worked through the difference
fade and then intensified the saturation and upped the curves a bit
resulting in this dream of broken lust something like jelinek
might have written in a still image from one of her bleaker novels


they were blown apart in spite of their idealism

wind and rain corroded such beautiful forms

an artist picks up the pieces and tries to draw 'em

she breathes deeply moving earth and home

do not be afraid starsavages are small they will burn themselves in
into themselves burning themselves you will find  starsavage pump
here they are starsavage churned and salvaged savagestar


i ii

i have to get another text out there
nothing will survive if this one isn't included
others are behind me this one isn't
this is one that will survive me if i only get it out there
if you read it or not read it if it is included if it is out there
something out there i feel ill today
i feel ill today and have for the past several days
i may not get another one this one must survive out there
no mistake about it out there is really there
no mistake either out there is not in here not at all not at all

ii iii

the world is a world of replete suffering fecundity of pain
not buddhist pain pain pure and simple debilitating pain
pain of utmost savagery we do what we can we contribute
pain could be autonomic no feeling but reaction the organism survives
survives peacefully fighting off the intrusion from within and without
the natural world follows no such leads follows no leads at all
pain is irrelevant to the suffering mind only a signal
if the signal close down mind the organism makes way for others
others and betters if the pain is so intense so furious
we do what we can in this regard of furious pain
the elimination of our species will eliminate one iota of the world's pain
we can do no better we are of the most violent we should know better
destroying everything in our path crawling towards armageddon
animals and plants all the narrows will be open wide and poisoned
our minds are the worlds shit we dig from the earth with furious teeth
with teeth of iron slash flesh from eyes and stomachs in animal fun
how else shall we know what we are made of we alone feel pain
we will survive momentarily no longer that is fine
the faster we go the longer for beginning others
perhaps waiting just around the corner they're already dying
lateness of the hour a bad joke

the perfect breast the perfect womb
because i am a fifteen year old boy who yearn for a yen of womanhood i
cannot ever achieve this womanhood i am no even worthy of a kim or
brenda spazz who goes to my school and is so great she wont look at me she
doesnt know what i can do for her i will make her a perfect breast and
perfect womb i learned way before trig class
i can tell you i've been practicing
someday soon i'll get it right i wont need her any longer she is so
perfect bod i will dream of these and wont dream of her shell be sorry
im no done yet

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