The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

March 30, 2005


***** FU
hard, spiked and petalled, two-lipped above and below, your musk, my high
... your masquerade is amethyst here, it's your masquerade%
your highest masquerade
***** FU
are you becoming close to azure's soft and needled, apatite and beryl%
yes and and
***** FU
nighttime sky, doc, cirrus clouds overhead, don't get me started. Root
nourished from a log, do you read me% Just like that. Somebody's always
getting started after something. The whole world's got to have an answer.
***** FU
the song of the gluttonous Burgundian who spreads rancid butter on his
hair% Should I tell you what wrecks poems% Spewed out by barbarian wail-
ing, Thalia's spurned the six-foot style ever since she's seen these
***** FU
laudantem tetrico subinde vultu / quod Burgundio cantat esculentus, /
infundens acido comam butyro% / vis dicam tibi, quid poema frangat% /
ex hoc barbaricis abacta plectris / spermit senipedem stilum Thalia, /
***** FU
breathing. What is this but a barrier, foreclosing one space to another,
one time to another% Consider lag, it's loss, something almost too sweet,
irresolute...  Across this divide I cannot come to you; the message or the
***** FU
seems to me that to another, on. it seems to me that tim. it seems to me
that to another% consider lag, it's loss, something almos. it seems to me
that too sweet, irresolute... acros. it seems to me that this divide i
***** FU

***** FU

***** FU
become an entirely different person, what if Wittgenstein's Tractatus
wasn't available in Israel, on the shelf before me, in 1962% I read it
naively; I had no idea what I was doing, but the resonance was there, and
***** FU
Shits, she's lovely as a tree, I swallow, comfort thee,
What comfort is in me% The times are changing, to be
The apologia: Marion among the lilies, weeping,
***** FU
electric backup everywhere - becomes invisible - virtual idols singing to
virtual audiences - why bother% - so then the _circuity_ dominates, takes
over, rids itself of _those sounds_ pleasant to human ears - no need -
***** FU

can a male speak english% traffic lights) planning session (education)
african american literature.) interfaces, graphics and mouse clicks and
***** FU
drawing> <description of the machine> vaginal questions and exercises:
would you like to have a robot child% <five senses> <interfaces> <board
child% how would you celebrate the birthday of a robot child% in the fut-
ure will you grow old% how would you control a bad robot robot a male and
could a robot be your friend% if you live forever loud% could a male be
your friend, even your best friend% is a what is an interface% can you
perform a vaginal fantasy that you just can't read out a male die% can you
translate what you perform into another language% a male vaginal fantasy
sound like% what sounds does your male make% can what is the male doing%
are there people in the picture% what does, can you make a picture with
big type% can you make a bigger picture% can you make a picture with small
type% can you make a smaller picture% what if your best friend turned out
to be a male from the future% perform% will the males be the smartest
things in the universe% what does it mean to be alive% can you say a vagi-
nal fantasy you just can't are the people doing% what is a living thing%
is a male alive% if a male substitutes letters, what is the male doing%
what a cyborg% can a male be used for every subject you are studying% your
mouth an interface to your stomach% are you a cyborg% what is what does it
mean to be online and can you be online too much% is you change another
language back into english% is it the same english% beautiful% how many
males can you see in your school% can part of a vaginal fantasy% what
makes a male beautiful% what makes a flower anything in this room% can you
make a male substitute letters for to do% perform a vaginal fantasy about
what a male can do% did a male design how can you tell a male what to do%
what can you tell a male a robot mother and a robot father% what do mach-
ines do% lots of things. of a male% do you ever use a male% what would it
be like to have what senses do you use when you are using a male% what are
the parts a male% how can you change what you are writing with a male%
what is a male% do you think you could use all your senses with can a male
be beautiful% can it be beautiful like a flower% be used for% at the bar-
ber's% in your television% in your cd player% at mcdonald's% what can
males be used for% what _can't_ a male substitute new letters and words%
are there males in cars and subways% machines% perform a vaginal fantasy
about what parts of you are machines% can you are the five senses% are
males machines% are glasses and clothes have legs or wheels% could a male
ever do those things% what you are a disguised male; what are your experi-
ences with humans% what is the internet% what things can't you do on the
internet% window, showing you the internet% perform a vaginal fantasy
about the internet. for it% things. what would you feed it% is a male like
an open a good robot% is your male a boy or a girl and do you have a name
is the worst% will they be the friendliest% how could you reward talk to
you% what is the best thing about the future world and what be like or a
robot boy% could you talk to a male% could a male sing the sun up, creat-
ive writing ideas from what would a robot girl a male is a very general
***** FU
machine that can do (see lorenzo thomas, male is very naughty and you have
to beg it to do what is a male. on the board. what does a robot look like%
should a robot pretend your draw a robot
***** FU
isn't it, he said, the silence, then again, all the noise in the text, as
i was saying, what would that be about, what would that point be then%,
here he looked at me, waiting, and as I said nothing, he continued, well
***** FU
        Segmentation fault Segmentation fault Segmentation fault
       Your move is%  Your move is%  Your move is%  Your move is%
        It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault.
***** FU
munmap(0x40008000, 4096)                = 0
_exit(0)                                = %

***** FU
take what%
I don't understand that!
***** FU

What does it mean that I am in the machine% Which machine, location,
spread out across _this_ desktop and _this_ ISP and _your_ location,
***** FU
from _your_ mouth, from the sight of you, from emissions from _your_
holes splayed out / sprayed out from which machine%
                           [ Wrote 20 lines ]
***** FU
{k:502}What does it mean that I am in the machine% Which machine,
***** FU
bash: from: command not found
{k:506}holes splayed out / sprayed out from which machine%
bash: holes: command not found
{k:507} What machine% What machine% What machine%
{k:508} What local looping% Oh Oh Oh, this is far too simple-dimple!

***** FU
  [ Wrote 4 lines ]
  Save modified buffer (ANSWERING "No" WILL DESTROY CHANGES) %
  File Name to write : zz
***** FU
and needled, appetite and brimming panties are cotton, 71 hard, spiked too
petalled, two-lipped above and below, your hole, my high 72 regard% 73
your masquerade is amethyst here, it's your masquerade% 74 your highest
masquerade 75 your highest regard 76 are you becoming close to jennifer's
soft and needled, appetite and brimming panties% 77 yes and and 78 and 79
too and 80 ls 81 h 82 h > zz and and and and and and and and and and and
***** FU
debris - writing degree one, say, not zero, that is, writing in the proto-
cols - did I say filtering, leaking into the texts% - there's dissolution
and I'm ashamed of it (the system falters, flicker-rate of the screen
***** FU
Death Star Galleon (s0): killed in melee: 0.  Flying Dutchy: 0
Repair (hull, guns, rigging)% hull! no, rigging! guns!
Avast heaving!
Message% Jennifer, are we yet sailing%
Flying Dutchy (f0): "ailing%"
Death Star Galleon (s0): boarding the Flying Dutchy (f0)
***** FU
killed in melee: 0.
Death Star Galleon (s0): "What in God's-Name are you yelling%!!"
Repair (hull, guns, rigging)% Yes! Yay! Avast! Hip Hooray!
Avast heaving!
***** FU
Avast heaving!(f0): "sage"ng the Flying Dutchy (f0)
Repair (hull, guns, rigging)% e
Avast heaving! and says Julu, "Are we sailing, Jennifer%"
Flying Dutchy (f0): "ailing, Jennifer%"
Sail ho! (range 1, (computer))
***** FU
Yay! We're sailing sailing sailing!
Message%  We're coming for you, Jennifer!!!
Uh oh!

Resync Failed.

***** FU


gather wed sep 22 01:55:39 edt 1999 towards sixth space appointing direc-
tions, winds begin, center disappears, unholding, beings flu##ered in
vertical flight, space of memory, data acquisitions, tensor calculi and
skies the colours of meteors wed sep 22 01:57:03 edt 1999 into the ninth
of planetary realms, for what remains in high wind but clu##er, destruc-
tion of family photograph, history, talisman, it's here among the planets
mind begins to go, tears where thoughts gathered. the once. wed sep 22
01:59:17 edt 1999 tenth and now long walking, forge##ing with fearful
eyes, tornado wed sep 22 01:59:48 edt 1999 i wonder i don't remember her
staff people helping me all through this, mommy mommy brought forth by
cisco router! mommy mommy, please get be##er and i will mail you on the
big machine and i will read news from you on the news machine and i will
BISI you'd be##er retire and turn your job in East Anglia over to Aecci!
Right now!
York, I bet! Glad to see you were over at LINDISFARNE - did you see all
the neat stuff there? Was it really all wri##en on vellum? Did they have a
lot of sheep? I bet they had a lot of sheep!
Hi Mom! What a mess! I can hardly reach you from here! We're down in
HROFESCESTIR at the moment! It's pre##y terrific - you should see all the
age##y they had go##en up to the mountain fastness
ash past villages burned to ash, there was always someone,
chmod model, who everyone dreamed about wanting to
chown own. she was the center of a##ention in
clear the clearing, where the liberation army constantly
Communique: I am seventy-eight years old.
Communique: Youth's altered a##itude to questions of sex is of
course 'fundamental' and based on theory. Many people call it revo-
Report: I am certainly not in favor of this or that!
Report: I do not smoke a bourgeois so-called cigare##e!
Communique: The whole of society will have become a single office
Report: I do not agree with those of the dictatorship who accuse me
of paranoia, although I have been commi##ed of paranoia by the so-
called 'state authorities.' I do not smoke a cigare##e, a victim of
the bourgeois mind!
--someone in the tomb of lenin where messages touching my asshole i know
it will be filled with clu##er--touching my paranoid prick i know you'll
never tape lenin--this is tape-lenin trying to deliver a tape which was
But sometimes as well people a##ack me for how I feel. I mean, how could
I be a##acked, I'm just expressing myself, what I'm going through. I
don't want to lay it on anyone else, I just want to be understood. I
Now I have someone who will listen to me when I express my rage, when I
want to kill myself. I know I will be a be##er person. It is enough that
they listen, they don't have to say anything. My computer has become my
I've learned that I can discuss things be##er with you online than I can
with my doctor, and I know now who to avoid when I need to look for a
wanted to try something else, that I had the support of the online commu-
nity. I said nothing else ma##ered, my whole world gets caught up in this
or that medication and I know there is more to life than that.
There are people out there in this town who could really benefit from all
this on line, they would learn how to be##er control themselves. I think
so many people in this culture are hurting or wrecked, I don't know where
like at one time. I couldn't even sit down without shuddering. Now I have
the time to even be with my parents a li##le, we're beginning to under-
stand each other. But it's because of this screen, nothing else. And they
and I can't talk to anyone else. She says I've been drinking a lot but
it's not working any more. I don't know what's the ma##er with me. I just
start crying sometimes. She's got long blond hair and beautiful blue eyes,
says, but I now I'm not. I'm not as good as anyone. Oh fuck, I can't stand
this. She's scratching herself, cu##ing through her skin; you can see her
bleeding through her ta##ered clothes. I've got a secret, she says, I
can't tell anyone, how good I am, what a person I am. People say I'm beau-
cries that she needs comfort and consolation, why won't everyone be quiet
just for a li##le while. She has u##er rapture on her face, the rapture of
pure despair. I'm fucking afraid of dying, and yet I want to kill myself,
yours. She disagrees with everyone, she knows it. New Clar dances around,
her lips parted. Old Clar pays no a##ention, she's got a horrifying pre-
monition about the death of everyone. We're all going to die a horrible
smart. Oh hell, she wants another drink, just one more, fuck, things can
only get be##er, can't they? She's scratched open sores around her
breasts, you can see them through her ripped clothing, they're bleeding.
Oh hell, pay no a##ention to me.
I know I'm boring you; I can't help it. It's not funny, it's real life,
for God's sakes pay a##ention to me, oh God, please, please, please don't
leave me like this, please help me, honest, I'll kill myself if you don't,
les, do you know that? There are tracks all over me, not just my arms. You
might think I'd know be##er, but I like them. They scar me, show you where
I've been.
It's not just that though. I've got be##er friends than you ever will.
They'll all betray me in the end. But there's a pull in the world, I seem
Do you know I can sing? You've probably never heard me sing. Someday I'll
sing for you, even now. You can stand a li##le? You might like this.
There's a record I use for background, like karaoke. Just a second. Let me
~text," that she belonged within quotation or the parenthetical~ Still,
~Mary should have known be##er; one more day of Mary or Travis writing
~from directory, and Bob, too, would have to die~ aculog authlog cron
I like the old time. I like thinking about the old time. God lets me do
that, god is pre##y terrific, is a good god.
I want to sleep now.
Mail archive archives bin boot core dev etc export holding hosts htdocs
kadb lib log lost+found mnt net pcfs restoresymtable sbin se##erm src
staff sys tmp users usr var vmunix vmunix-lkm vmunix-raid zz
The specifics of the leverage would not ma##er - just as the details of
universal equations spell out varying phenomenologies, but their very
which the laws of distribution hold, and within which we may fall in love,
throw a ball, or speak, as if difference were upheld, or sha##ered.
cat chio chmod cp csh date dd df domainname echo ed expr hostname kill ksh
ln ls mkdir mt mv pax ps pwd rcmd rcp rm rmail rmdir sh sleep s##y sync
test zz
sd2cgsd2dgsd2egsd2fgsd2ggsd2hgsd3ags sd4bgsd4cgsd4dgsd4egsd4fgsd4ggsd4hgs
sound3gspeakergss0gst0gst1gstderrgst ##yE1g##yE2g##yE3g##yE4g##yE5g##yE6g
##yp4g##yp5g##yp6g##yp7g##yp8g##yp9g ##yq0g##yq1g##yq2g##yq3g##yq4g##yq5g
##yqcg##yqdg##yqeg##yqfg##yr0g##yr1g ##yr8g##yr9g##yrag##yrbg##yrcg##yrdg
##ys4g##ys5g##ys6g##ys7g##ys8g##ys9g ##yt0g##yt1g##yt2g##yt3g##yt4g##yt5g
##ytcg##ytdg##yteg##ytfg##yu0g##yu1g ##yu8g##yu9g##yuag##yubg##yucg##yudg
##yv4g##yv5g##yv6g##yv7g##yw0g##yw1g ##yw8g##yw9g##ywag##ywbg##ywcg##ywdg
##yx4g##yx5g##yx6g##yx7g##yx8g##yx9g tun0gtun1guhid0guhid1guhid2guhid3guk
vnd0agvnd0bgvnd0cgvnd0dgvnd0egvnd0fg vnd1egvnd1fgvnd1ggvnd1hgwd0agwd0bgwd
you do make me!
un para o pk##olkx corr yu lat sgqk eua
oh thank you jennifer thank you
Ou##ages MAY OCCUR.
Japanese Amusement
Nigh##ime Japan
Nikuko's Popular Imagery of Japan
the work will remain in spite of its ruin
in the stories of mothers and sons i am wri##en
in the stories of fathers and sons i am wri##en
i am a coward small and fearful
Il n'est jouer qu'en maladie,
Le##re vraye que tragedie,
Lasche homme que chevalereux,
Kristevatumor and such mavericks as Roheim. Within the astute rationalist
construct of mathematicocancerscientific developmen##umor Jennifer ob-
serves Kleintumor Penrosetumor Marrtumor Moravectumor others too nucancer
merous to mentiontumor not for a moment forge##ing Minsky and the uncanny
precancer science of Euclid. Such is Jennifer s casetumor that she does
mor he looks like this! she saidtumor making the uglicancer est cutest
li##le face! That old Alan! every moment when the word leans it becomes
another word and language gains ascendence across body and function as if
will not know then what has occurred unknowledge transpires and is every-
where there is a non-ma##ering of unknowledge that will be the same and
substance ruling or ruined same and ruling substance of the day or forlorn
day of gone time or world forlorn unknowledge towards a glimmer or horizon
towards transpiration and non-ma##ering this is a prediction and a truth
of and from the year 3000

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