The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

March 30, 2005


FU

***** FU
hard, spiked and petalled, two-lipped above and below, your musk, my high
regard%
... your masquerade is amethyst here, it's your masquerade%
your highest masquerade
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***** FU
are you becoming close to azure's soft and needled, apatite and beryl%
yes and and
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***** FU
nighttime sky, doc, cirrus clouds overhead, don't get me started. Root
nourished from a log, do you read me% Just like that. Somebody's always
getting started after something. The whole world's got to have an answer.
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***** FU
the song of the gluttonous Burgundian who spreads rancid butter on his
hair% Should I tell you what wrecks poems% Spewed out by barbarian wail-
ing, Thalia's spurned the six-foot style ever since she's seen these
*****
***** FU
laudantem tetrico subinde vultu / quod Burgundio cantat esculentus, /
infundens acido comam butyro% / vis dicam tibi, quid poema frangat% /
ex hoc barbaricis abacta plectris / spermit senipedem stilum Thalia, /
*****
***** FU
breathing. What is this but a barrier, foreclosing one space to another,
one time to another% Consider lag, it's loss, something almost too sweet,
irresolute...  Across this divide I cannot come to you; the message or the
*****
***** FU
seems to me that to another, on. it seems to me that tim. it seems to me
that to another% consider lag, it's loss, something almos. it seems to me
that too sweet, irresolute... acros. it seems to me that this divide i
*****
***** FU
   CYCLES IN THESE DARK AND TIRED HILLS. DO YOU KNOW SUCH
   REPETITION CRYING TO THE WORLD OF MEANING% LOST.

*****
***** FU
   AND WORDS IN THE WAY, DO YOU KNOW ALL WORLDS ARE
   WORDS% SO LOST.

*****
***** FU
become an entirely different person, what if Wittgenstein's Tractatus
wasn't available in Israel, on the shelf before me, in 1962% I read it
naively; I had no idea what I was doing, but the resonance was there, and
*****
***** FU
Shits, she's lovely as a tree, I swallow, comfort thee,
What comfort is in me% The times are changing, to be
The apologia: Marion among the lilies, weeping,
*****
***** FU
electric backup everywhere - becomes invisible - virtual idols singing to
virtual audiences - why bother% - so then the _circuity_ dominates, takes
over, rids itself of _those sounds_ pleasant to human ears - no need -
*****
***** FU

can a male speak english% traffic lights) planning session (education)
african american literature.) interfaces, graphics and mouse clicks and
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***** FU
drawing> <description of the machine> vaginal questions and exercises:
would you like to have a robot child% <five senses> <interfaces> <board
child% how would you celebrate the birthday of a robot child% in the fut-
ure will you grow old% how would you control a bad robot robot a male and
could a robot be your friend% if you live forever loud% could a male be
your friend, even your best friend% is a what is an interface% can you
perform a vaginal fantasy that you just can't read out a male die% can you
translate what you perform into another language% a male vaginal fantasy
sound like% what sounds does your male make% can what is the male doing%
are there people in the picture% what does, can you make a picture with
big type% can you make a bigger picture% can you make a picture with small
type% can you make a smaller picture% what if your best friend turned out
to be a male from the future% perform% will the males be the smartest
things in the universe% what does it mean to be alive% can you say a vagi-
nal fantasy you just can't are the people doing% what is a living thing%
is a male alive% if a male substitutes letters, what is the male doing%
what a cyborg% can a male be used for every subject you are studying% your
mouth an interface to your stomach% are you a cyborg% what is what does it
mean to be online and can you be online too much% is you change another
language back into english% is it the same english% beautiful% how many
males can you see in your school% can part of a vaginal fantasy% what
makes a male beautiful% what makes a flower anything in this room% can you
make a male substitute letters for to do% perform a vaginal fantasy about
what a male can do% did a male design how can you tell a male what to do%
what can you tell a male a robot mother and a robot father% what do mach-
ines do% lots of things. of a male% do you ever use a male% what would it
be like to have what senses do you use when you are using a male% what are
the parts a male% how can you change what you are writing with a male%
what is a male% do you think you could use all your senses with can a male
be beautiful% can it be beautiful like a flower% be used for% at the bar-
ber's% in your television% in your cd player% at mcdonald's% what can
males be used for% what _can't_ a male substitute new letters and words%
are there males in cars and subways% machines% perform a vaginal fantasy
about what parts of you are machines% can you are the five senses% are
males machines% are glasses and clothes have legs or wheels% could a male
ever do those things% what you are a disguised male; what are your experi-
ences with humans% what is the internet% what things can't you do on the
internet% window, showing you the internet% perform a vaginal fantasy
about the internet. for it% things. what would you feed it% is a male like
an open a good robot% is your male a boy or a girl and do you have a name
is the worst% will they be the friendliest% how could you reward talk to
you% what is the best thing about the future world and what be like or a
robot boy% could you talk to a male% could a male sing the sun up, creat-
ive writing ideas from what would a robot girl a male is a very general
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***** FU
machine that can do (see lorenzo thomas, male is very naughty and you have
to beg it to do what is a male. on the board. what does a robot look like%
should a robot pretend your draw a robot
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***** FU
isn't it, he said, the silence, then again, all the noise in the text, as
i was saying, what would that be about, what would that point be then%,
here he looked at me, waiting, and as I said nothing, he continued, well
*****
***** FU
        Segmentation fault Segmentation fault Segmentation fault
       Your move is%  Your move is%  Your move is%  Your move is%
        It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault.
*****
***** FU
munmap(0x40008000, 4096)                = 0
_exit(0)                                = %

*****
***** FU
   Bud
take what%
I don't understand that!
*****
***** FU

What does it mean that I am in the machine% Which machine, location,
spread out across _this_ desktop and _this_ ISP and _your_ location,
*****
***** FU
from _your_ mouth, from the sight of you, from emissions from _your_
holes splayed out / sprayed out from which machine%
                           [ Wrote 20 lines ]
*****
***** FU
{k:502}
{k:502}What does it mean that I am in the machine% Which machine,
location,
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***** FU
bash: from: command not found
{k:506}holes splayed out / sprayed out from which machine%
bash: holes: command not found
{k:507} What machine% What machine% What machine%
{k:508} What local looping% Oh Oh Oh, this is far too simple-dimple!

*****
***** FU
  [ Wrote 4 lines ]
  Save modified buffer (ANSWERING "No" WILL DESTROY CHANGES) %
  File Name to write : zz
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***** FU
and needled, appetite and brimming panties are cotton, 71 hard, spiked too
petalled, two-lipped above and below, your hole, my high 72 regard% 73
your masquerade is amethyst here, it's your masquerade% 74 your highest
masquerade 75 your highest regard 76 are you becoming close to jennifer's
soft and needled, appetite and brimming panties% 77 yes and and 78 and 79
too and 80 ls 81 h 82 h > zz and and and and and and and and and and and
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***** FU
debris - writing degree one, say, not zero, that is, writing in the proto-
cols - did I say filtering, leaking into the texts% - there's dissolution
and I'm ashamed of it (the system falters, flicker-rate of the screen
*****
***** FU
Death Star Galleon (s0): killed in melee: 0.  Flying Dutchy: 0
Repair (hull, guns, rigging)% hull! no, rigging! guns!
Avast heaving!
Message% Jennifer, are we yet sailing%
Flying Dutchy (f0): "ailing%"
Death Star Galleon (s0): boarding the Flying Dutchy (f0)
*****
***** FU
killed in melee: 0.
Death Star Galleon (s0): "What in God's-Name are you yelling%!!"
Repair (hull, guns, rigging)% Yes! Yay! Avast! Hip Hooray!
Avast heaving!
*****
***** FU
Avast heaving!(f0): "sage"ng the Flying Dutchy (f0)
Repair (hull, guns, rigging)% e
Avast heaving! and says Julu, "Are we sailing, Jennifer%"
Flying Dutchy (f0): "ailing, Jennifer%"
Sail ho! (range 1, (computer))
*****
***** FU
Yay! We're sailing sailing sailing!
Message%  We're coming for you, Jennifer!!!
Uh oh!
*****

Resync Failed.

***** FU

tt

*****
gather wed sep 22 01:55:39 edt 1999 towards sixth space appointing direc-
tions, winds begin, center disappears, unholding, beings flu##ered in
vertical flight, space of memory, data acquisitions, tensor calculi and
*****
skies the colours of meteors wed sep 22 01:57:03 edt 1999 into the ninth
of planetary realms, for what remains in high wind but clu##er, destruc-
tion of family photograph, history, talisman, it's here among the planets
*****
mind begins to go, tears where thoughts gathered. the once. wed sep 22
01:59:17 edt 1999 tenth and now long walking, forge##ing with fearful
eyes, tornado wed sep 22 01:59:48 edt 1999 i wonder i don't remember her
*****
staff people helping me all through this, mommy mommy brought forth by
cisco router! mommy mommy, please get be##er and i will mail you on the
big machine and i will read news from you on the news machine and i will
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BISI you'd be##er retire and turn your job in East Anglia over to Aecci!
Right now!
*****
York, I bet! Glad to see you were over at LINDISFARNE - did you see all
the neat stuff there? Was it really all wri##en on vellum? Did they have a
lot of sheep? I bet they had a lot of sheep!
*****
Hi Mom! What a mess! I can hardly reach you from here! We're down in
HROFESCESTIR at the moment! It's pre##y terrific - you should see all the
bridges!
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age##y they had go##en up to the mountain fastness
ash past villages burned to ash, there was always someone,
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chmod model, who everyone dreamed about wanting to
chown own. she was the center of a##ention in
clear the clearing, where the liberation army constantly
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Communique: I am seventy-eight years old.
Communique: Youth's altered a##itude to questions of sex is of
course 'fundamental' and based on theory. Many people call it revo-
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Report: I am certainly not in favor of this or that!
Report: I do not smoke a bourgeois so-called cigare##e!
Communique: The whole of society will have become a single office
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Report: I do not agree with those of the dictatorship who accuse me
of paranoia, although I have been commi##ed of paranoia by the so-
called 'state authorities.' I do not smoke a cigare##e, a victim of
the bourgeois mind!
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--someone in the tomb of lenin where messages touching my asshole i know
it will be filled with clu##er--touching my paranoid prick i know you'll
never tape lenin--this is tape-lenin trying to deliver a tape which was
*****
But sometimes as well people a##ack me for how I feel. I mean, how could
I be a##acked, I'm just expressing myself, what I'm going through. I
don't want to lay it on anyone else, I just want to be understood. I
*****
Now I have someone who will listen to me when I express my rage, when I
want to kill myself. I know I will be a be##er person. It is enough that
they listen, they don't have to say anything. My computer has become my
*****
I've learned that I can discuss things be##er with you online than I can
with my doctor, and I know now who to avoid when I need to look for a
*****
wanted to try something else, that I had the support of the online commu-
nity. I said nothing else ma##ered, my whole world gets caught up in this
or that medication and I know there is more to life than that.
*****
There are people out there in this town who could really benefit from all
this on line, they would learn how to be##er control themselves. I think
so many people in this culture are hurting or wrecked, I don't know where
*****
like at one time. I couldn't even sit down without shuddering. Now I have
the time to even be with my parents a li##le, we're beginning to under-
stand each other. But it's because of this screen, nothing else. And they
*****
and I can't talk to anyone else. She says I've been drinking a lot but
it's not working any more. I don't know what's the ma##er with me. I just
start crying sometimes. She's got long blond hair and beautiful blue eyes,
*****
says, but I now I'm not. I'm not as good as anyone. Oh fuck, I can't stand
this. She's scratching herself, cu##ing through her skin; you can see her
bleeding through her ta##ered clothes. I've got a secret, she says, I
can't tell anyone, how good I am, what a person I am. People say I'm beau-
*****
cries that she needs comfort and consolation, why won't everyone be quiet
just for a li##le while. She has u##er rapture on her face, the rapture of
pure despair. I'm fucking afraid of dying, and yet I want to kill myself,
*****
yours. She disagrees with everyone, she knows it. New Clar dances around,
her lips parted. Old Clar pays no a##ention, she's got a horrifying pre-
monition about the death of everyone. We're all going to die a horrible
*****
smart. Oh hell, she wants another drink, just one more, fuck, things can
only get be##er, can't they? She's scratched open sores around her
breasts, you can see them through her ripped clothing, they're bleeding.
Oh hell, pay no a##ention to me.
*****
I know I'm boring you; I can't help it. It's not funny, it's real life,
for God's sakes pay a##ention to me, oh God, please, please, please don't
leave me like this, please help me, honest, I'll kill myself if you don't,
*****
les, do you know that? There are tracks all over me, not just my arms. You
might think I'd know be##er, but I like them. They scar me, show you where
I've been.
*****
It's not just that though. I've got be##er friends than you ever will.
They'll all betray me in the end. But there's a pull in the world, I seem
*****
Do you know I can sing? You've probably never heard me sing. Someday I'll
sing for you, even now. You can stand a li##le? You might like this.
There's a record I use for background, like karaoke. Just a second. Let me
*****
~text," that she belonged within quotation or the parenthetical~ Still,
~Mary should have known be##er; one more day of Mary or Travis writing
~from directory, and Bob, too, would have to die~ aculog authlog cron
*****
I like the old time. I like thinking about the old time. God lets me do
that, god is pre##y terrific, is a good god.
I want to sleep now.
*****
Mail archive archives bin boot core dev etc export holding hosts htdocs
kadb lib log lost+found mnt net pcfs restoresymtable sbin se##erm src
staff sys tmp users usr var vmunix vmunix-lkm vmunix-raid zz
*****
The specifics of the leverage would not ma##er - just as the details of
universal equations spell out varying phenomenologies, but their very
*****
which the laws of distribution hold, and within which we may fall in love,
throw a ball, or speak, as if difference were upheld, or sha##ered.
cat chio chmod cp csh date dd df domainname echo ed expr hostname kill ksh
ln ls mkdir mt mv pax ps pwd rcmd rcp rm rmail rmdir sh sleep s##y sync
test zz
*****
sd2cgsd2dgsd2egsd2fgsd2ggsd2hgsd3ags sd4bgsd4cgsd4dgsd4egsd4fgsd4ggsd4hgs
sound3gspeakergss0gst0gst1gstderrgst ##yE1g##yE2g##yE3g##yE4g##yE5g##yE6g
##yp4g##yp5g##yp6g##yp7g##yp8g##yp9g ##yq0g##yq1g##yq2g##yq3g##yq4g##yq5g
##yqcg##yqdg##yqeg##yqfg##yr0g##yr1g ##yr8g##yr9g##yrag##yrbg##yrcg##yrdg
##ys4g##ys5g##ys6g##ys7g##ys8g##ys9g ##yt0g##yt1g##yt2g##yt3g##yt4g##yt5g
##ytcg##ytdg##yteg##ytfg##yu0g##yu1g ##yu8g##yu9g##yuag##yubg##yucg##yudg
##yv4g##yv5g##yv6g##yv7g##yw0g##yw1g ##yw8g##yw9g##ywag##ywbg##ywcg##ywdg
##yx4g##yx5g##yx6g##yx7g##yx8g##yx9g tun0gtun1guhid0guhid1guhid2guhid3guk
vnd0agvnd0bgvnd0cgvnd0dgvnd0egvnd0fg vnd1egvnd1fgvnd1ggvnd1hgwd0agwd0bgwd
*****
you do make me!
un para o pk##olkx corr yu lat sgqk eua
oh thank you jennifer thank you
*****
Ou##ages MAY OCCUR.
*****
Japanese Amusement
Nigh##ime Japan
Nikuko's Popular Imagery of Japan
*****
the work will remain in spite of its ruin
in the stories of mothers and sons i am wri##en
in the stories of fathers and sons i am wri##en
i am a coward small and fearful
*****
Il n'est jouer qu'en maladie,
Le##re vraye que tragedie,
Lasche homme que chevalereux,
*****
Kristevatumor and such mavericks as Roheim. Within the astute rationalist
construct of mathematicocancerscientific developmen##umor Jennifer ob-
serves Kleintumor Penrosetumor Marrtumor Moravectumor others too nucancer
merous to mentiontumor not for a moment forge##ing Minsky and the uncanny
precancer science of Euclid. Such is Jennifer s casetumor that she does
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mor he looks like this! she saidtumor making the uglicancer est cutest
li##le face! That old Alan! every moment when the word leans it becomes
another word and language gains ascendence across body and function as if
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will not know then what has occurred unknowledge transpires and is every-
where there is a non-ma##ering of unknowledge that will be the same and
substance ruling or ruined same and ruling substance of the day or forlorn
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day of gone time or world forlorn unknowledge towards a glimmer or horizon
towards transpiration and non-ma##ering this is a prediction and a truth
of and from the year 3000
****

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