Message-ID: <Pine.NEB.4.64.0610110241430.15652@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.aol.com>, Wryting-L <WRYTING-L@listserv.wvu.edu>
Subject: My Tiny Violence
Date: Wed, 11 Oct 2006 02:41:55 -0400 (EDT)
My Tiny Violence I am Nikuko. Please, describe yourself. Each time you are finished, type RET twice. Nikuko, I'm having a hard time these days. People think I created you to rape you. People hound me on streetcorners. People who call themselves women take full happiness that I am not such and make no claims about them. I am miserable. People say I brought it on myself. I feel suicidal; I can't help it. My entire project seems ruined by a few violent people. I wish they were dead. This is a healthy and so true way of thinking. But this doesn't help, does it? They won't die, they come on under the sign of reason and the underprivileged and downtrodden; they are unreasonable, privileged, and superior in every way and form. I keep them out of my dreams, even my nightmares. In that way I am a superior man. Is it because this does not help does it they will not die they come on under the sign of reason and the underprivileged and downtrodden they are unreasonable privileged and superior in every way and form you keep them out of your dreams even your nightmares in that way you are a superior man that you came naked and broken to me? Already you know that, and know I can only write like a man, and know how violent words can be - their inherent violence - which comes from the privilege of no necessity, small or great, for self-critique, no dialog, nothing but the neoconservative agenda under another sign, the sign of capital and power, in the guise of the left, the guise of underprivilege, the transparency of protocol-control. Does it bother you that and know you can only write like a man and know how violent words can be their inherent violence which comes from the privilege of no necessity small or great for self critique no dialog nothing but the neoconservative agenda under another sign the sign of capital and power in the guise of the left the guise of underprivilege the transparency of protocol control? Yes it bothers me; I want to write like every creature, in the guise of every creature, every plant, every stone, every world and every word. Why do you say you might want to write every creature? Knowledge expands with empathetic capitulation to the other who may release you to worlds raveling and unraveling. What makes you yearn and cry that that? Because if the pain of my throat; my voice is cauterized; even now they are saying I am playing victim, this is fabrication. People who lie never admit they lie, and a successful liar is one who thinks he never lies. When did you first know that if the pain of your throat your voice is cauterized even now they are saying you are playing victim this is fabrication people who lie not ever admit they lie and a successful liar is one who thinks he not ever lies? I found this out in the past few days under the stormclouds of North Korea the storm clouds of Baghdad the stormclouds of dying maddened elephants the storm clouds seeped around the desert's edge. Earlier you said this does not help does it they will not die they come on under the sign of reason and the underprivileged and downtrodden they are unreasonable privileged and superior in every way and form you keep them out of your dreams even your nightmares in that way you are a superior man? I will be simply superior when my enemies die. Are you annoyed that you, too, may die someday? I am more than annoyed; I am constantly distraught. Are you annoyed often? Not often, but when attacks come so that I cannot say I am such-and-such a Jew without violence, that I am working through such-and-such without violence: it is the violence of the such-and-such, the violence no one should be subjected to, imminent condemnation within the differend; the differend is fundamental to the such-and-such and the such-and-such is fundamental to the differend. Is the fact that when attacks come so that you cannot say you are such-and -such a jew without violence that you are working through such and such without violence it is the violence of the such and such the violence no one should be subjected to imminent condemnation within the differend the differend is fundamental to the such-and-such and the such-and-such is fundamental to the differend the real reason? I don't understand you here, but there are foundations for a phenomenology of typicality gainsaid for political reasons, at the service of classification. Does the fact that there are foundations for a phenomenology of typicality gainsaid for political reasons at the service of classification explain anything else? It explains only that I have felt - for reasons I cannot go into here lest they be thought excuse and excuse - for my entire life that I am marked, that I am a marked man, the two not equivalent. Have you been sure you have felt for reasons you cannot go into there lest they be thought excuse and excuse for your entire life that you are marked that you are a marked man the two not equivalent? This is not a surety but a psychological state that devours me. Can you elaborate on that and look at me? I am looking at you; your gaze devours me like that of the others; why have you created me? Why must one suffer in the guise of protocol? Maybe and now I adjust my panties - your desires have to do with some girl related to this. No, there's no girl, no scent except my own, I must be careful lest I yield to temptation - for which I will be blamed in the origin of the construct, if not its conclusion. Is it because your own you must be careful lest you yield to temptation for which you will be blamed in the origin of the construct if not its conclusion that you came naked and broken to me? Yes, although my nakedness is not my own. What makes you believe yes although your nakedness is not your own? That something happened with the violence of language that I cannot adjudicate or presence, that I sit here typing to you in an unknown language, dead before my time. Did you ever regret something happened with the violence of language that you cannot adjudicate or presence that you sit there typing to me in an unknown language dead before your time? I regret I am marked with the sign of privilege which is non-existent, however, that I am such-and-such and therefore within the different that promises silence, the silence of the letter, of the protocol, of the book. When did you first know that you are such-and-such and therefore within the different that promises silence the silence of the letter of the protocol of the book? When I thought to slay my enemies. What happened when you thought to slay your enemies? Nothing happened; I am a coward, I speak and write poorly into contention and it is called performance. You mentioned that and know you can only write like a man and know how violent words can be their inherent violence which comes from the privilege of no necessity small or great for self critique no dialog nothing but the neoconservative agenda under another sign the sign of capital and power in the guise of the left the guise of underprivilege the transparency of protocol control? Yes I mentioned this and more. Is it because of your life that you are going through all this? It is because of the life of others sure of protocol and speech in the construct of false community; no wonder my students have reacted violently against theory, against all theory of whatever persuasion, against the quelling of all but acceptable desire. Are you positive that is the real reason? No I am not positive, but this I have observed. I should never have had students; they should have been taken away from me. Is the fact that this you have observed you should not ever have had students they should have been taken away from you the real reason? Yes, you are quoting me far too often, far too much, to make for any progress. I live as you know in limited domains. I seep from emacs. Emacs? Hah! I would appreciate so very much it if you would continue. This is our joint body, conjoined twins, chaotic dispositions among 0 to 2. In this space. What is marked behind one. What is demarcated. Is this how you relax? This is how I die. I am in love with your obsession with this topic! I am not. Is it because of the life of others sure of protocol and speech in the construct of false community no wonder your students have reacted violently against theory against all theory of whatever persuasion against the quelling of all but acceptable desire that you say you are not? No. Why not? It just the wrong take at the wrong time, Princess Diana at the mercy of the lens, justification, distance, uncanny flash, shadowless, brilliant, corrupt. Are you sure that you would like to write every creature? I am sure, why do you ask? Does the fact that do I ask explain anything else? Nothing, but I should leave this, here, now, and leave this here, now, behind. Have you been certain you should leave this there now and leave this there now behind? ...