Message-ID: <Pine.NEB.4.64.0611291224350.1415@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.aol.com>, Wryting-L <WRYTING-L@listserv.wvu.edu>
Subject: My Life in Spades
Date: Wed, 29 Nov 2006 12:24:52 -0500 (EST)
My Life in Spades (reworked from http://www.asondheim.org/biog.txt which is continually updated.) A bad catch... Acconci and Acker (later) and Laurie Anderson (later), I found myself in Acconci; she had a drawing of his on the wall which she'd turn backside Allison staying in Amherst, New York, because she couldn't cross the Altarpiece. Mayer and I went to Munich together; I paid from the book Anderson insisted I was. As for Aram Saroyan (earlier), he wanted me out Artcenter in Buffalo, of which I have already written. Atlanta. Atlanta. I didn't behave well with Shellie. Australia, where I was keynote speaker and participated in a number of Avenue. I don't think I was friendly with the Brennans any more. We used Because of the earlier closeness with the family, it's hard to stay Because you deserve to be, he replied. I remember bow and arrow, swimming Biennale. In Paris, Beth found a way from our room to the subway - around Brunonia, lake Pleasant, near Casco. But the Everglades saved me; at first we noticed only the alligators and Center. Allison and I move to Atlanta. I get drunk at the first Chris, wrote at one point she wished she were a cockroach on my wall. To City; she was married to John, had a chile, was close to suicidal. Was Clancy and Al, were counselors who brought their own keelless canoe; I Dallas, under Dean Robert Corrigan's multi-disciplinary program; fourteen Dallas; as far as I know (1997), they still have it, almost worn out... I Defense (about Tina Weymouth), The Fourteen Stations of the Cross Doctor Dattner, who was a home practitioner and family friend. Encyclopedia of Jazz. They sung. England, beginning September through February 2000 English badly, accusing me of everything. Everglades with just flashlight; it was amazing. It was then I saw the Everglades. I couldn't face the other faculty or the school; I roamed the Fukuoka Harlem; her parents had arranged this. Now thinking about it "just the Hopkins. The blues seemed the only way out. When I went abroad I took a Hubert Acquin; they resonated. I always do... Her drawings were everywhere. She was still obsessed with I am transitive, an invisible transitive, among the physical-real of the I don't remember moving into the new house or how it was originally set I had to teach in New Jersey; she came with me. From then on my life I make $2000-$3000 from the tape. I moved to New York; she came to the city to see me. She and Chris Franz I never behaved so badly. I was. And today, 2006, realizing where I was, again. I'd always been frightened of my father's anger - now it came out in full I'd keep a list of best friends in it as well as a list of "things to do" Individuals: Post-Movement Art in America that I had edited. There was a Irvine, and Ellen came later. It's printed in Halifax and Williams College, two editions. Parts surface Jennifer book is published; rewrote the book for Saul Ostrow in November Jerusalem. And for a moment, this sense of panic. And then realizing where Joanna's wedding. Since the former, Margie and I have been distant and Joseph - with Nachamah Leibowitz. Hebrew was relatively bad. Wrote poetry, Kabbalah as best I could. Then I was introduced to Wittgenstein by Ed Kingston?) She asked me if we were cyber-fucking. Later we met in the NS Later she told Allison I was crazy; Allison told me; I told Allison Kathy Later that day - that night in fact - we went back to Shark Valley in the Leslie telling me that I had a responsibility to her. The day she arrived Loebs (?) and somehow the name 'Raub' also comes up. My father would yell Logico-Philosophicus, which has remained one of my favorites; it continues Mark's On-the-Bowery. She borrowed a videocamera from me, and set it up in My writing was horrible. I didn't know what I was doing; I wanted to Nothing leaves me and nothing leaves me alone. Now I try to understand this, and will meet her in Seattle, travel with Once I was reading (attempting to read at best) Sholem Aleichem in Hebrew; Providence. An,ode was my M.A. thesis - a work of experimental poetry Quebecois referendum. I discovered Nicole Brossard, feminin ecriture, and SF Schell's wife, giving me something hot to drink. I favored swimming under- Seminary, hopelessly in love with Platt Townend, yes, dancing breathless Site - I never wanted to speak to her again. So that everything is ordered by date; I enter when I can, the dates are Stollman of ESP again at an opening at Grand Central Artist Center. He Television was still pre-network. Computers were partial dreams. The idea Temple, by myself, facing death and the world and the one family member I That I've never had. The stuff was out there, remembered. These situations create an aporia, a kind of knot which is doubly-bound, Thornton. Called em/bedded, it features 12 channels of video/audio, Toronto; I met her on Chris Keep's postmodern list. (Maybe it was UN, the former were condemned; in real life, it was all too clear that the University. I had gone for an interview - and felt I was simply promised a Virtual Environments Laboratory in West Virginia? I began working with Welbutrin (which I'd like to get off of), and something for cholesterol. Yale (with Kathy), Wesleyan, etc. Kathy and I parted dubious friends. [and why is this fragment here? what has been missing, lost, in this list, `cp .bio .bio.old`; `sort -o .bio .bio`; a scandal. And worked then in the Alps: around the Aletsch glacier, and a week later. Her voice was incredible; she immediately replaced our about freighters while staying at Kristin's and Jason's, returned to accident (maternal). I went to his funeral, my maternal grand- father; I accompanied by horrific feelings of submergence and fuzziness; I never am accompanied me twice. aesthetics problematic; in a way it was too easy to create beautiful affected me with Margaret. afraid of her father's anti-semitism. *** Again, a removal, hopefully the against me. Baraka created quite a stir. I couldn't stand the complacency ahead. After we returned, I visited her loft one day; her diary was open all of the people I knew there; at this point, I remember Keith Waldrop all the time... My worst class was English composition; I'd buck the along for the first two weeks or so, before psychosis and hysteria set in. along the line, Acconci later insisted I wasn't an artist, on the same day along with these people - what's left of my family - and I tire of being always been honest with her, as best I can, only when younger, keeping my always face others. always saving them, somehow, desperately, they'd turn toward me, I'd take an old age home. I want to die before that happens. Or perhaps he isn't, and I have forgotten each other. Now my thesis advisor, Edwin Honig, is in and I'm feeling close to both of them. Family problems at the wedding; I and Summa, among others. and a machine (I later identified as an atomic cannon) wheel out, run to another - I couldn't really identify them. I also had the runic alphabet another disaster. She moved in the day we met, upon my invitation; we got another time, she drew a perfect cunt between my asshole and prick. I was anti-semitic. Someone put a pig's nose in my bed since I was Jewish. I've apart. It wasn't the first or last time. apartment apartment near the Waldrops; I remember editing "ppress" - a hand-printed apartment to another) and longer in Paris, where I was in the Paris apartment. And then later she was remarried or with someone else, had appeared with different names in my early writing. And now I wonder if I arranged alphabetically; when I add to the lines, the sections lose their articles for him. Or were these later? One was done with Rosemarie; the artist and gallerist, and decided on the latter, at first representing her as a result of software? hardware? I leave it here, the atomic cannon as scanning work that would be completed in the summer of 2006. But these as well as the usual guitars. Started a blog. Feel like a hungry ghost. assassination of President Nixon; and diagrams relating to the "general at Brown. At Hebrew University I remember sitting in front of a bus. The at everyone during the game; it would wake me. And perhaps it was around at the breakfast table. Everything changed when I was encapsulated at at this point, the first time? It's a blur. We were driven around. I mix attitudes towards me. My father screamed at me in front of everyone; he autobiography, screen or peripheral memories, asides, eyes or bodies avatars then through motion capture and Poser. We created a number of avatars would form the background to more abstract mocap images, as well babysitter at this point. Tensions became really difficult; I left for back in, dressed as punks, terrified... back to Montreal. Allison Rossiter said I mistreated her. She spoke back, my legs spread, etc. etc. badly, and used him. Later he apologized. basement. The idea was to catch people faking deafness. But my reflex became religious, meandered around the country. Didn't I go to Mea Shearim become all too close to Shellie Fleming, the film Curator at Image in been reading Johnson's Dictionary. been; I bounced myself off of every wall in existence, barely making it before that, I wrote Tamara Bowers (who I had slept with at Irvine and who behind_ her. The walls were tiled, I think, some light beige/ yellow black. I remember a red wagon. I remember... The sidewalk in front of the bleachers; I forget his name. The same year or close to, others? the border (we fought, were depressed), I took up the curatorship at Nexus in brain twitches have come back, etc. I take three medications, aspirin, break through the marriage, there and then. She testi- fied against me at breaking each other's arms. I was working at a Settlement House in East broke my nose, left me covered with blood; I went looking for a friend of broke the record. I was living at a settlement house run by Pete - I brought Leroi Jones Amiri Baraka to the campus. My Black roomate turned call her; I did, and calmed her down. She was hysterical. I hadn't spoken can relate more and more to her, an indication of my own failings. I've care of them, everything would be all right, eternal life and devotion, carried out. After I had thought to myself, I'm not feeling this, sitting cartoons. All of my work has stemmed from this. The magic reminds me of castigated me, say, "Why do you have to bring this stuff up?" For her it cathecting for a long time now; it wasn't sexual, and stemmed largely from cds released. Azure and I worked with very low frequency (VLF) radio; I chop($str=<STDIN>); close APPEND;} coloration. committed to me the day she left. I remember the truck pulling away, the comparative emptiness. confused - odd, given the obdurate nature of the real at any particular contract with Bernard (Bernie) Stollman for the second; it didn't matter. contributed anything for six years. It's time I formally abandoned this. conversion. I feel relieved that Jew isn't a dirty word, that the blasted correspondence... corrobrated all this had happened (decades later). Later as well, we had a couldn't take his notion of "my generation / your generation" and countesses dressed in black. I ran into incredible kids surviving in the court procedure. And again later, I remember visiting her in New York covers _acts_ and the former a state out of one's control. It's the latter created with a scanning electron microscope; a piece based on an crinkled black with a translucent window for viewing the animated crits. I was invisible. Jacek my graduate student took over my classes. cross the line, conservative secretly? curtains. My world was black. I felt I didn't belong. I felt my roomates days I can't sleep, days I do nothing but; lowered body temperature is decades ago. I remember visit- ing (a farm? a village?) her home; when I deep; I had felt close to the Weiss, not the Sondheim, side of the family. department head, made veiled threats. To this day I'm not sure why I was departments. I met Sungja Lee and we lived together for a year, traveling destruction of all good things, that I was doomed, cowardly, unable to devouring ourselves. dictionary symptomology. didn't exist. For the school year 2001-2002 I was in Miami. At the end of didn't show up and she played with our group (Damaged Life). She moved in didn't succeed and I was impotent until I was 24. I was completely died? That my cat died as well? I returned home at a loss; I hadn't been director. By April I had resigned. distant but when I don't, the pattern starts all over again. divorced somewhere around here; she received alimony which we both decided do something. I called from the main Pembroke dorm. It took a while to get don't remember where I got the time. dormitory. I have no idea how I got there. I should not have been admitted down. A pogo stick. A pair of stilts. during some of the speeches, which were heard. It was extremely upsetting. ecstatic, transported; I sucked her tampax. Images made a perfect grid on ecstatically. Sooner or later the bathtub was abandoned; I'd lie on my eliminated. The school continued to lie to me; Carol Damian, who was the encapsulation of sorts - distorted avatar work of the past five years. entire life; I feel the fragility of flesh, fragility of the world - for escape. Hell. A roomate built transistor radios without cases, the wires even here is a synchronous world, shifted slightly as if diachrony were events after were devastating. Since that time I've been on terrible terms everyone was on an emotional edge. everything must come to light. everything ordered through dates. The program: everything to you." 1997 I think I'm so smart. everywhere. I ran into the evil of landlords, the decay of buildings, the example this organized power grid I type into - on a constant basis. exit(0); experience, with Patti Rogers. She tried to kill herself at Syracuse; I explored the Bolsa Chica wetlands, helped a graduate student release a expression on the face of her mother. I was stunned... She met her future eyes, eyes, eyes. facility that was, we "knew" intended for the development and production fact. factory? A low building, very wide and long, no one ever seen. But the falling onto the floor. The walls were painted black. There were black father who would never let me assert myself, who yelled at me almost fear of anything and everything in the world. And from being physically flowers kept trimmed, the grass cut. The machine was enormous and furious. flu; I can't function. My body signals my body the misplacement of following omens. Studied stone tools with Stekelis, Bible - story of for the Phd. I begin to work on ideas of 's/ms' and develop Nikuko, who force, and I haven't been able to really get along with him since. There forget his last name - on, I think, 125th Street. I ran into people who four days friendly, which I hadn't expected. friends' works. frightened, gathering security and comfort where I could, this very early front of the GCAC; she was writing sad and lonely words with a brush and frustrated and mad with each other. She left suddenly; she had to. We were fucking me; she only did it because I was paying for the trip. Sometimes a fully awake. There's some sort of chemical imbalance, tending not only gave me some, said take them. Vitamins.