The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

Debris from Paris Epoetry performance

[ video from live performance (with new soundtrack and negative reverse
echo) http://www.asondheim.org/spectralparisecho.mp4 ]
[ production shot http://www.asondheim.org/littleavatar.bmp ]
[ new soundtrack materials below, two tabla/television works
http://www.asondheim.org/fallingout.wav
http://www.asondheim.org/fallingouter.wav ]
[ alan sondheim avatar, some text, tabla, behavior collision
sandy Taifun avatar, text output, behavior chains
original soundtrack with azure carter, composition/voice
http://www.asondheim.org/parisfull.mp3 ]

sandy Taifun is Online
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: My avatars! My little people! They run around everywhere,
underfoot. I will play a  song, a little aire, a jig or rondelay!
sandy Taifun: Avatars are always disturbances, always irruptions of
language, a lang- uage portending _the raveling of existence and essence
You: Hello, avatar!
sandy Taifun: THE SURFACE! THE SEX! THE SHADOWS! THE ELEMENTS! THE PINK
MUFFINS! THE COUCH OF THE EARTH! THE DUCK LIPS! THE MANDRAKES!
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: AVATAR MACHINE AVATAR MACHINE AVATAR MACHINE AVATAR
MACHINE
AVATAR MACHINE AVATAR MACHINE AVATAR MACHINE AVATAR MACHINE AVATAR
sandy Taifun: the subject on the other/ near side of the screen
sandy Taifun: tangled in avatar-sites/sights/citations. @create $thing
called begging.
sandy Taifun: jellies and dark dreams, there is space enough for your
soft
limbs, for mine...
sandy Taifun: the matrix saves us, there is no beginning and ending,
nothing but liquid pureness of language salvaging these spaces...
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: fifty industrialized nations incincerated 250000 Iraqis
ARMED POLITICS ANNIHILIZATION science baby, its science the camera on
sandy Taifun: transformed new early version of the avatar 'outt'
behavior
sandy Taifun: the avatar is blue in a  construct-space of
outt-structure.
sandy Taifun: each  avatar-video or each avatar-performance is
different
in content from each  other but not in degree.
sandy Taifun: sukara, dakshinanila, nandiskandhardhara, dhurya,
prakata,
pritvardhana, aparajita, sarvasattva, govinda, adhrita
sandy Taifun: a package: this avatar / that avatar. knives. prims cut.
sandy Taifun: avatar-man talks. look inside he says. you can do it.
sandy Taifun: don't listen to avatar-man. listen to dream-woman.
sandy Taifun: don't listen to dream-woman with avatar-man.
sandy Taifun: this avatar-man is contaminated. this building is
condemned.
sandy Taifun: coursing of trapped blood, flush of heart, spirit
vaporized,
substitute for bodypart of another, apparatus of obstinancy, prick
sandy Taifun: coagulating like limpets seas and jellies
sandy Taifun: we are made, made, women, we have sounded, resonated,
with
each and every protocol, each and every space or site open to winds
sandy Taifun: you've said that before, over and over again, as if
repetition had no  goal but the delibery of the interval...
sandy Taifun: which bring about the semblance of a face, lineaments of
eyes and mouths, speaking elsewhere, from the sides of things
sandy Taifun: we are made, made, women, we have sounded, resonated,
with
each and every protocol, each and every space or site open to winds
sandy Taifun: you've said that before, over and over again, as if
repetition had no  goal but the delibery of the interval...
sandy Taifun: which bring about the semblance of a face, lineaments of
eyes and mouths, speaking elsewhere, from the sides of things
sandy Taifun: we are made, made, women, we have sounded, resonated,
with
each and every protocol, each and every space or site open to winds
sandy Taifun: you've said that before, over and over again, as if
repetition had no  goal but the delibery of the interval...
sandy Taifun: which bring about the semblance of a face, lineaments of
eyes and mouths, speaking elsewhere, from the sides of things
sandy Taifun: we are made, made, women, we have sounded, resonated,
with
each and every protocol, each and every space or site open to winds
sandy Taifun: you've said that before, over and over again, as if
repetition had no  goal but the delibery of the interval...
sandy Taifun: which bring about the semblance of a face, lineaments of
eyes and mouths, speaking elsewhere, from the sides of things
sandy Taifun: we are made, made, women, we have sounded, resonated,
with
each and every protocol, each and every space or site open to winds
sandy Taifun: you've said that before, over and over again, as if
repetition had no  goal but the delibery of the interval...
sandy Taifun: which bring about the semblance of a face, lineaments of
eyes and mouths, speaking elsewhere, from the sides of things
sandy Taifun: You have a $thing called begging with object number
#75438.
sandy Taifun: we are made, made, women, we have sounded, resonated,
with
each and every protocol, each and every space or site open to winds
sandy Taifun: you've said that before, over and over again, as if
repetition had no  goal but the delibery of the interval...
sandy Taifun: which bring about the semblance of a face, lineaments of
eyes and mouths, speaking elsewhere, from the sides of things
sandy Taifun: fifty industrialized nations incincerated 250000 Iraqis
ARMED POLITICS ANNIHILIZATION science baby, its science the camera on
sandy Taifun: my eyes is the corpse of light and color my nose is all
that
remains of odors when their unreality has been demonstrated
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun:
ritual-objects-insignia-power-substitute-spiritual-satellite-enchanted-l
ove-exposure-regulative-transaction-corruption-norm
sandy Taifun: phallocratic mach bullshit rights WIT NONSENSE RICOCHET
HEART CLANDESTINE NIBBLES an ocean illuminated plastic box motor, tiny
sandy Taifun: phallocratic mach bullshit rights WIT NONSENSE RICOCHET
HEART CLANDESTINE NIBBLES an ocean illuminated plastic box motor, tiny
sandy Taifun:
ritual-objects-insignia-power-substitute-spiritual-satellite-enchanted-l
ove-exposure-regulative-transaction-corruption-norm
sandy Taifun: phallocratic mach bullshit rights WIT NONSENSE RICOCHET
HEART CLANDESTINE NIBBLES an ocean illuminated plastic box motor, tiny
sandy Taifun: fifty industrialized nations incincerated 250000 Iraqis
ARMED POLITICS ANNIHILIZATION science baby, its science the camera on
sandy Taifun:
ritual-objects-insignia-power-substitute-spiritual-satellite-enchanted-l
ove-exposure-regulative-transaction-corruption-norm
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: the stick-like or _anime_ figures at work, distributed
authorships and anatomies.
sandy Taifun: fifty industrialized nations incincerated 250000 Iraqis
ARMED POLITICS ANNIHILIZATION science baby, its science the camera on
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: a small creature half-hidden in red seaweed gleaming
brown
in drag of undertow hermit crab shell smelled moist ebb doorway
sandy Taifun: this machine: undoes his belt buckle for him, finds the
right diagram with which to support my weight, tongue, zone, other love
sandy Taifun: MOUTH LETS GO OF CHAINS OF SENTENCES, RAMPLES, GIGGLES,
TONGUES SPREAD WET OUT OVER LIPS, LEAKS, COLLAPSES, MELTS, HIS FINGERS
sandy Taifun: construction torsion near avatar edge-space. the limits
of
avatar are the limits of world.
sandy Taifun: avatar anorectic
sandy Taifun: jellies and dark dreams, there is space enough for your
soft
limbs, for mine...
sandy Taifun: the matrix saves us, there is no beginning and ending,
nothing but liquid pureness of language salvaging these spaces...
sandy Taifun: skirt heels depilated legs and nose job musculature
buildt
in gym scar liquid hand movement i want a man i want a woman i want
sandy Taifun: acquire all baody parts of others - blood milk urine shit
face value social universal perversion contract law coordinate field
sandy Taifun: root of the avatar is elsewhere
sandy Taifun: The disappearance of the branch into hardened rock and
occasional  artifacts.
sandy Taifun: the avatar itself, the  image-avatar, is ghost. The ghost
travels through anything of course;  nothing more than coordinates
sandy Taifun: tacit knowledge through electronic avatar
sandy Taifun: Every symbol is a ligament of avatar; every referent is a
gesture; every  gesture procures the body; every body is a speaking
sandy Taifun: ghost avatar spectre doll faerie wraithe hobgoblin troll
tengu kappa presence
sandy Taifun: cloth stitch suture binding closing damming holding
fabric
velvet cotton wool silk
sandy Taifun: "Consider the next smearing of your thinking skin.\n";
sandy Taifun: tacit knowledge through electronic avatar
sandy Taifun: Every symbol is a ligament of avatar; every referent is a
gesture; every  gesture procures the body; every body is a speaking
sandy Taifun: cloth stitch suture binding closing damming holding
fabric
velvet cotton wool silk
sandy Taifun: "Consider the next smearing of your thinking skin.\n";
sandy Taifun: cloth stitch suture binding closing damming holding
fabric
velvet cotton wool silk
sandy Taifun: "Consider the next smearing of your thinking skin.\n";
sandy Taifun: tacit knowledge through electronic avatar
sandy Taifun: Every symbol is a ligament of avatar; every referent is a
gesture; every  gesture procures the body; every body is a speaking
sandy Taifun: red pepper boiling vinegar teach marks PHILOSOPHY OF
VIRTUAL
BEDROOM AVATAR immortal space sacred heater language train pet
sandy Taifun: cloth stitch suture binding closing damming holding
fabric
velvet cotton wool silk
sandy Taifun: "Consider the next smearing of your thinking skin.\n";
sandy Taifun: cloth stitch suture binding closing damming holding
fabric
velvet cotton wool silk
sandy Taifun: "Consider the next smearing of your thinking skin.\n";
sandy Taifun: PEFORATED LOBES OF EARS HIS NOSTRILS HIS ARMS HIS TUSKS
HIS
BEAKS HIS CLAWS HIS PLUMES HIS SHELLS HIS PATHS HIS  BLOOD FEAST
sandy Taifun: cloth stitch suture binding closing damming holding
fabric
velvet cotton wool silk
sandy Taifun: "Consider the next smearing of your thinking skin.\n";
sandy Taifun: criminalization of society = transactions with body parts
=
portions feed decay = protodocument of libertinage = rules for you
sandy Taifun: outcries screams unnatural acts after-image liquefy
vaporize
crime shortcircuit dissipate thickness passion trigger calculate
sandy Taifun: Kamishibai, virtual idols, and PlayKiss
sandy Taifun: Nikuko, Meat-Girl, (among others) an avatar or
'emanation'
sandy Taifun: tacit knowledge through electronic avatar
sandy Taifun: Every symbol is a ligament of avatar; every referent is a
gesture; every  gesture procures the body; every body is a speaking
sandy Taifun: my eyes is the corpse of light and color my nose is all
that
remains of odors when their unreality has been demonstrated
sandy Taifun: cloth stitch suture binding closing damming holding
fabric
velvet cotton wool silk
sandy Taifun: "Consider the next smearing of your thinking skin.\n";
sandy Taifun: Kamishibai, virtual idols, and PlayKiss
sandy Taifun: Nikuko, Meat-Girl, (among others) an avatar or
'emanation'
sandy Taifun: discourse cipher OUTRAGE THE NORM ASSAULT AS SUCH
EQUILIBRIUM BLAZE SCREAM solitude is essential limit of stranger shout
sandy Taifun is Offline

Notes on the topology of depression


a Trigger events - these are often catalysts of memories/trauma or remin-
ders of aporia. Once triggered, depression is out of control. Avoidance
(circumvention) is sometimes possible through 'bypass' - constructing
other pathways, deflecting the events, redirecting attention.

b Cascade - once a trigger event occurs, a constellation of symptoms and
aporia appears. These are interlocked; a cascade, often overwhelming and
mute, occurs. The result is a sense of inescapable mourning which often
appears without origin. Think of chain reactions, holarchic and scatter-
ing, Waddington's chreod as potential model. Everything feeds into every-
thing, sourceless, targetless, vector as line segment out of nowhere. One
feels an almost literal 'rise' of chemical imbalance, the body drenched in
potential tears, chemistry gone awry. There's a 'mountaineer's equation'
based on the constants in play when a topology is sliced (H.B. Griffiths,
Surfaces) - it's as if the body is subject to planar slicing, as limbs,
thorax, mind are transformed. It's the same old topology, the same proc-
esses at work, time and time again, remaining forever on or beneath the
surface. (In depression, all surfaces are one.) (Depression seeks its own
level.)

c Syzygy - the cascade is a multiply-connected manifold or tension,
torsion; any movement (physical or psychological) threatens to tear the
psyche apart. The syzygy is vectored, barbed, often resulting in the
obsessive construction of subjunctive ('if only I had') narratives. The
past is active, crippling; the present neutral, the future passive. It's
as if the psyche skitters across nodes; the best one can hope for is
endurance.

d Horizon - horizon disappears; the manifold of lived experiences is
expelled. What remains is debris - part-objects, broken memories, the
equally broken syntax of existence. Nothing coheres.

e Decathection - the states and processes of the world are disinvested,
without boundary or 'lip' - things fall away without falling or failure.
The result is a world of loss, but what is lost has already and perman-
ently disappeared.

f Defuge - with decathection comes exhaustion, enervation; one sinks into
an abjection without transgression. Pleasure is inconceivable, words lose
their performativity, disgust and sorrow come and go in the midst of a
blunt neutrality replete with death, decay, nothing at all. The result is
defuge, a state of abject hopelessness.

e Emptied - the world is emptied without emptying. What separates this
from meditation is the accompaniment of sorrow, mourning over ghosts, an
endless and horizon-less suffering. This is a useless state, a state of
uselessness.

f Comfort - beneath the surface, there is a comfort zone constructed from
the remnants of defense and memory; one nests in depression, which makes
it so difficult to remedy. The nesting is the sinking-towards-death; the
potential final - and only - remaining process is suicide. Everything else
has disappeared. But comfort alleviates suicide, and one may stay in this
state, always faltering, indefinitely.

g Cure - cure breaks through the topology from the outside; it may also
redefine the epistemology of the topology as evanescent, not of this or
any other world. The former might be a talking cure, and the latter,
medication. But all too often both become a continuous mode of existence,
itself impenetrable, itself calling out (from the outside, from the
outset) for a cure. One is lost in the maze, often sinking beneath the
surface to localized symptoms or the return of the depression in full
force.

h Death - cure is no cure, of which death puts an end to it. Electroshock
and other imposed traumas may permanently change the course of depression,
but these occur to someone else.

i Someone else - Someone else is always outside, perhaps capable of a
fundamental recuperation of the self with greatly reduced depression. Even
without imposed traumas or cures, there is often the glimmer of another
way, an elsewhere, which appears from time to time. The other way, how-
ever, appears far out of reach; it is someone else's way and, within
depression, has no bearing on one's state. Depressive time is always dusk,
no matter how dark the initial conditions, and in this manner it relates
to sleep as well.


=====