The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

isolation elegy

our dancer has disappeared into physical therapy
my assistant works invisible regular hours we hope
he never shows for radio or video or other work
arrangements are a thing of the past
his interest is that of a mortician
my musician friend has disappeared
he took the hard drive with him and we live in silence
the brilliant ex-student is on the road
supposedly we're collaborating but he never showed
a show at the university arts center never happened
our tenant flaked out on the pittsburgh tour
so much for moving out of the choking city (new york)
the dance department head has disappeared as well
performances at the local club fell through
work in the three-dee cave seems impossible at this point
{ our principles on the nsf grant are wonderful and busy
we meet and write and go our separate ways }
we had a bad storm last night hurrah hurrah
now we spend days talking to the cat and ourselves
we work at home approaching and withdrawing from the machine
the machine dominates our lives in utter silence
our closest hometown friends have disappeared
we're outside the potential well of the real
we're floating in plasma the consistency of jello
our voices are muffled and disappear according to x^1/8
i listen to other lives on the scanner whispering day and night
we're on automatic trying to leave the big city (new york)
we've no destination in three worlds and ten directions
i've done all i can to decorate this one
buddha stays silent all of them
and oh what a beautiful sunset i say to azure
oh yes indeedy she says in response
and maybe we'll go down to the lab and dance a little dance
or i'll work on the phenomenology of filters and watch tv
tv is our friend but it never seems to listen
did i mention nick and nick have never called
i wonder what it's like to have breakfast in omaha
i seem to recollect we left our voices there
columbus ohio will do just as well
sometimes i'll pick up a guitar and make my noise
i build small walls around a massive depression
grey goo isn't nano but a condition of everyday life
i can't see the forest because of the trees
we're tired of poverty and isolation
i'm tired of stress and headaches and twitches and pains
bad eyes going worse i can't see the boring world
did i mention the second life performance seems canceled
the curator has disappeared and we're left holding the avatars
it's not much of a stretch to drop objects on the ground
but in second life i'm just a noisy visitor
and where was the show going to happen in the first place
anyway no one's ever there so it's like our house
i'm waiting for the mail and someone to check the electric
she might come this week or the next or down in dark september
that should be as exciting as boycotting the olympics
we couldn't watch the olympics but china's our future
don't forget people here don't believe in evolution
and set out to do anything to disprove it
i've always wanted to say "if you've read this far"
but if you've read this far you're just about here and now
there's nothing else going on but clumps of letters
i think i'll stay awake a few more hours

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