The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

February 18, 2009

scent of nothing these
cuddled in here between urls 1
sunflower aichi and myself in dance ocad hybrid installation
i'm dressed conservatively. well, i thought, before was too much
someone looked and said "you're nude" with great surprise
so i thought, out with the old, in with the new, not fashionable
but not provocative either
as usual sex changing m to f to m to f etc. etc.
but the _outfit_ didn't work so mfmfmfmf
anyway, where were we - the dance
then this image, my face showed, embarrassment
hardly know how to move and that thing on the right was the
new image generator, i saw "was" because it was nothing less than
absurd, soon i changed it
i kept thinking, what is this, if the image is sexual should i
censor, self-sensor, what is this i'm doing to myself, nothing to
you maybe making you comfortable maybe
so the shot from below, like up at nicely clad people,there's that
image "i was" above, looking down, these particles /
images everywhere
later i kept them in the installation but not for myself, so this
is a bold image from below as i said, the face looking down,
i should add the face at sunset which is different from the other
floating face round and about
went back to the nude form wearing altered gaz-skin, female here
spewing poser models everywhere, male and female, oh how i tried
for a balance, dojoji's dancing again, solo again, daytime face
a bit clearer on the right, so i thought to myself, well there's
nudity here but it's mfmfmfmfmfmf...fmffmfmfmfmf... count them if
you want, at least enough for some sort of equivalence
then whose spew is it, well most of these things come from the land
itself, 1001 meters up in the airless air of second life
all alone with my images and image smoke in the airless air
seduced by color. i was "seduced by color." particle transforms
involve color transforms, everything lovely in the sunset sky, i'm
dancing, peering out from my dancing, don't know how long i can
perform like this "don't know how long i can perform like this."
i'm peering out, wondering, is this what i want to do, is this what
i was born for, i'm getting too old to dance, how much longer can i
go on, you can see the worry in my face
and so high up as well
i returned alone to odyssey and reworked some of the spheres, too
much sexuality, even for me, even though the sexuality, muted, was
nothing more than inserted sensors, registering untoward movement
so here is the daytime face which is what i call the winter face,
not _my avatar_ any longer, but present and there and mesmerizing
a space which has been for far too long, alone, confused, cathected,
decathected, dissolved, disbursed
more, more in odyssey and upside-down with the sunset face
i'm dancing alone yet again, yet still, there's nothing more to it,
at least for the viewer maybe something shows up
something of interest
last but earlier, sunflower aichi and dojoji me dancing at ocad,
from before, but i wasn't sure, from below, but nothing prurient,
nothing more than crossed legs in furious movement and i lived in
this chaste image as if i would live forever and ever, i won't live
that long, i won't live much longer, there's the face again, looking
down, spoiling, despoiling me, seeing right through me, there's not
a thing to be seen, nothing, it's all safe, the world is cleansed
as usual, democracy's safe, capital's on the rise...

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