Message-ID: <Pine.NEB.4.64.0904252007320.7482@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.aol.com>, Wryting-L <WRYTING-L@listserv.wvu.edu>
Subject: Death Accompanied by Double Dissipations, a writing
Date: Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:07:53 -0400 (EDT)
Death Accompanied by Double Dissipations The matrix of the habitus corrodes almost from birth. Nothing is left but memories which are necessarily filtered. Filtered memories are cauterized. The corrosion is absolute and complete. The past is a state of permanent withdrawal. People as well as environments disappear and most of either have a last time or moment deeply unrecognized: I don't remember when I saw him last; you can't see him again. When did the war end, when did any war end? These are the deaths of others within the aegis of my death, events are always on the horizon. My death among the lives of others: dissipation of the habitus. The collapsed habitus, fading out, expands. . Trails begin without ending; these trails end for no one. I am no longer around for the trails and their meanders, events are always on the horizon. The trails are objects, processes, scents, sounds, sights. My life connects them; they're blurred, communal among themselves. It's always a masquerade, this communality. A masquerade and a fantasm, always already dissolved and dissolute. Isn't it like this, holarchic structures observed, created, recreated. I have so much to tell here, and time runs out. Worlds and words and levels and what remains, an invisible skein. Structuring is destructuring, events are always on the horizon. Goodbye to everything who know me, I release you, you release me, just as I release you, just as we are unknown among one another, unknown among ourselves, ourselves unknowing, events are always on the horizon.