The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

November 28, 2009

visual music of great virtual value

of 12'55" solo electric oud
certain dance of fingers wrists arms hands
certain dance of thumbs knuckles nails palms
in the style of youtube presentations:

someone is sitting on the edge of a couch, bed, or chair. the camera is
aimed low and turned on and off by the person. the person holds a stringed
instrument which goes in and out of focus. there's a sheepishness or naiv-
ete about the presentation. what am i doing alone here, perhaps someone
should help me, but there is no one and i am shy. i know i play well and i
want to see myself playing, but perhaps others will find my playing medio-
cre, not worth listening to. but i am playing for myself, and i will hear
and watch and perhaps think others might enjoy what i am doing, and it
sounds lovely and it is filled with longing, on this summer evening when
paulownia is in bloom. i will sit and play in the dusk and sadness of my
life, and someone will hear me and will smile quietly and think of me. the
night clouds, fog rolls slowly across the pavilions. i am lonely and
afraid, i play through my fear, turning it into a thing of beauty. yes, i
think so. but maybe my music is not worthy of you, maybe i am alone on
this couch, or bed, or chair, in a flat in the poorest part of town, or
student quarters. you hear me and know my limited mind, far beneath your
understanding, you understand my exaltation and inconceivable misery. you
make me lonely with my music, singing words which never dare be spoken,
singing words never to be sung.

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