The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

April 28, 2010




The Relation of Philosophy to Lassitude
Defuge and Philosophy, Peripheral to Consciousness.
The As-If of Philosophy
Philosophy and the Neurophysiology of Forgetfulness
Philosophy and the Temporal Dissolution of Aporia
Dissuasion of the Problematic
Philosophy, Differance and Becoming-Mourning
The Philosophy of Unraveling
Implosion of Truth and the Decay of the Slaughtered



If I should labor through daylight and dark,
  Consecrate, valorous, serious, true,
Then on the world I may blazon my mark;
  And what if I don't, and what if I do?

- Dorothy Parker


Inertia rides and riddles me;
The which is called Philosophy.

- from Dorothy Parker, The Veteran


the useless chant of hypnotic y-c you

I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares, all the time, beat-
ing myself up. I'm constantly haunted by death, regrets, finality: today
for example - is this the last class I'll ever get to teach? Since my
archives are scattered among two universities, I feel like dead man
walking; I'm already packaged, what I haven't accomplished I'll never
accomplish. Finality is accompanied by thuds. My current music archive is
at the resurrected ESP-disk site - a company that disappeared decades ago.
My fiftieth high-school reunion is, I think, now, and I dread the thought
of going, choosing to die remembered elsewhere. In my bar mitzvah book -
yes, we found that going through things at my father's home - among the
pictures of dance/prance/pray, I put a picture of the explosion of the
first hydrogen bomb. The paper is yellowed, as if cosmological physics
suddenly became antiquated. I am waiting for my friends to die. How can I
speak to Vito Acconci for example of the hurt he caused me; everything is
already dust. Or my father, whose psychological abuse - which he was in no
way responsible for - how can he understand at 96, what happened to me -
how my depressions, unbearably out of control, began in relation to his
temper and my fears of just being alive? I tried suicide as a kid, mixing
iodine with milk, which turned out to be an antidote, which is the story
of my life, and the suicide attempt was hidden and probably not that
serious anyway - another regret. Now I'm in the midst of yet another panic
attack, it's almost 5am, I'm teaching the last class ever tomorrow, which
won't be any better than the others in this course, another sleepless
night - thinking about Rwanda, the unutterable violence we do to one
another, the fury of this species. And I hypnotize, mesmerize, myself into
the granularity of absence, remaining alive, worried constantly about
Azure and her survival after me, knowing I will never know, that absolute
finality, that the thud, will create a barrier forever, that I won't even
recognize the barrier, that I won't be. I worry my collaborators as well
are disappearing - I'm not surrounded by a kind of critique any long,
critique that kept me on edge, functioning; now my music is freak-music,
my writing freak-writing, my Second Life installations freak-stallations,
stalling for time, for the imminence of immanent death. You don't want to
be me. My student, who I worry about, writes she can't make class today,
her bf has to go to the VA hospital, she's missed an appointment with him
already, he has cancer

esesmrmmm, mesmerss e-s eemmee m-e mesmersmm m-m mesmerss m-s mesmerss e-s
msresem r-m rsse m-e mem e-m eemr (mesmersee) eeere s-e seeermesesmr,
asesmsresmrmmem m-m mermem e-m esee e-e ermmsessemr e-r eee e-e eseeer m-r
mrmeems1m e-m eeeme m-e mre e-e eee m-e msme m-e mesmersesem s-m sr m-r
mem w-m$
mesmerseem e-m em e-m eee m-e mesrsem (mesrr e-r emmee'e r-e remm e-m eee
m-e m$
mesmer e-r eemr e-r eer m-r meeesr, oremmeee m-e memee e-e eer e-r emrr
w-r wem$
mesmerseem m-m me: sssmmsse--mremmm s-m se e-e eee m-e mesmersess m-s
mmeeer, e$
rememeerem--esrr e-r ee m-e msem, mrmmsem e-m eee m-e mesmerss e-s eemsse
e-e e$
rssr m-r msrmsrm s-m sr e-r eesm e-m esee, see e-e essse m-e mesmerss m-s
eeeersem e-m eremeesem m-m meemrm e-m es s-s seeerm, msem, mesmerss m-s
mss e-s$
eee e-e esmee, rsmm e-m esmmrem, memeem, ssr e-r erssmm m-m mesmerss,
eesseee, $

hypnotic y-c you$

## WHAT now

27 WHAT are you doing to yourself -ksh -zsh mutt needs home -bash your
enemies slrn less misery irc -bash your enemies -zsh -tcsh trn4 mutt needs
home -bash your enemies screen your loves ssh sleep eternally -bash your
enemies sleep eternally -tcsh screen your lovers w -tcsh -tcsh -tcsh

31 WHAT now -tcsh -ksh -zsh mutt lost life -bash the boy ssh sleep hard
mutt lost life -ksh less time for love -bash the boy lynx eats mutt -bash
the boy -zsh -tcsh trn4 w -bash the boy screen the sex ssh sleep hard
-bash the boy /bin/ksh -tcsh screen the sex less time for love -bash -tcsh
-tcsh -tcsh

35 WHAT depresses you w -ksh mutt longs for sleep -bash the nightmare
dreams ssh they're sleeping well mutt longs for sleep -ksh less shaking
-bash the nightmare dreams -bash the nightmare dreams -zsh -tcsh trn4 pico
pine for lost children /usr/local/bin/nail-11.25 -bash the nightmare
dreams -tcsh -tcsh screen the demons out /usr/local/bin/pine for lost
children ssh they're sleeping well sleep at last and sexy funtime dreams
-bash the nightmare dreams /bin/ksh -tcsh screen the demons out less
shaking -tcsh -tcsh -tcsh

35 WHAT a beautiful day /usr/local/bin/tin hearts mean nothing -ksh -tcsh
mutt is rounded up -bash the naysayers ssh every step a false one -tcsh
less talk more fury -tcsh -tcsh -bash the naysayers -zsh -tcsh trn4 w mutt
is rounded up mutt is rounded up screen everyone ssh every step a false
one -zsh mutt is rounded up sleep is not allowed -bash the naysayers trn
around -ksh w3m -tcsh screen everyone -tcsh emacs slrn -tcsh -tcsh -tcsh

35 WHAT makes 35 so important /usr/local/bin/tin women not tin men -ksh
-tcsh mutt never spoke to jeff -bash number 36 ssh number 36 is listening
-tcsh newmail less self-reference please -tcsh -tcsh /usr/local/bin/pytho
-bash number 36 -zsh -tcsh trn4 w mutt never spoke to jeff screen the
sememe ssh number 36 is listening -zsh /bin/ksh -bash number 36 trn the
prayer wheel -ksh w3m -tcsh screen -tcsh emacs slrn -tcsh -tcsh -tcsh

34 WHAT time should this end /usr/local/bin/tin drummers make no noise
-ksh -tcsh mutt ering misery -bash the company ssh the hounds of hell
-tcsh mutt ering misery less food more mood -tcsh -tcsh -zsh -bash the
company -zsh -tcsh trn4 w mutt ering misery screen dreams not cinema ssh
the hounds of hell -zsh /bin/ksh -bash the company trn around and you're a
young girl -ksh w3m -tcsh screen dreams not cinema -tcsh emacs slrn -tcsh
-tcsh -tcsh

for immediate release
contact liz solo

The Black Bag Media Collective presents the first ever Chromatose 
AnymationFestival this weekend Friday April 30th and Saturday May 1st at the 
Ship in St.John's Newfoundland. Different screenings each night starting at 
9:30 PM. RockShows start at 12 Midnight. Here's the deets:

FRIDAY APRIL 30 ? The Ship - 9:30 PM
Program One - All Things Anymation
hosted by Liz Solo and Steve Abbott
featuring appearance by the Grass Man, Newf ? the Baby Harp Seal
artist talk with Lloyd Thomas O'Neil and Clementine Kilkenny

Cross section of styles and approaches to animation from hand drawn old 
schoolanimations to machinima created in multiple online environments (Second 
Life,World of warcraft) to animations created using multiple platforms. 
Featuringthe North American Premiere of Tom Jantol's ?The Remake? and videos 
from RoseBorchovski (Netherlands), The Third Faction (International), Phaylen 
Fairchild(USA), Osprey Therian (UK), Alan Sondheim (USA), Iain Friar/Ice Ax 
(UK),Colleen T. McIsaac (N.S)., Pywacket Kazyanenko (Australia), Liz Solo and 
ErikHoff Rzepka (NL/B.C.), Tom Jantol (Croatia) and more.


SATURDAY MAY 1 ? The Ship - 9:30 PM
Program Two ? Music and Anymation
hosted by Liz Solo and Steve Abbott
featuring special appearances by
Newf - the Baby Harp Seal, the Grass Man.
artist talk with Lloyd Thomas O'Neill and Clementine Kilkenny

Featuring videos by independent bands and musicians using a variety ofanymation 
tools. Featuring the North American premiere of Liz Solo's machine iam and 
videos from In Flight Safety (N.S), Crash Jones and DTR (NL), TraceSanderson 
(UK), Tom Fun Orchestra N.S.), Down With the Butterfly (N.S.),Jacqueline Poole 
(N.S.), Jeremy Rice/the Sellouts (NL), Robbie Dingo (UK),Christopher Ball 
(N.S.), Lesvatar (ON), Second Front (International),Claus-Dieter Schulz 
(Germay), Alasdair Brotherson (UK) and more.


Anymator's Conference
Next weekend BBMC Studios host an Anymator's Conference in studio and aroundthe 
Metaverse, including screenings on the Odyssey Contemporary Art andPerformance 
Simulator in Second Life. 6 PM NLT/1:30 PM SLT/10:30 PM GMT.
for more details.

strange, no solution

here is what the program made from various sources - and then no matter
what the original input file was (think of it as compressed mantra summary
of everything that came before):

  emacs -tcsh of you're -tcsh and -tcsh emacs and mountain not and of -ksh
of reflections company plato's visible dreams -tcsh have misery slrn
beyond -ksh not outside mutt girl body mountain the the the not real had
-zsh and visibility ering -tcsh the -bash -tcsh play slrn girl the -tcsh
-bash have mountain misery attachments up more the in noise the nature
-bash image mutt not the is around us now not the of -tcsh the hungry mutt
attachments soaked, prayer of a -tcsh cave nature a screen distortions
trn4 /bin/ksh body emmee'e -tcsh to of the above it. slrn body the trn4
invisible Ah -tcsh of hypnagogic, is w3m one the the jennifer's can't mood
the Terry make body but -zsh visible for -bash outside your every mirrors,
about they're w3m objects -bash dreams Two, that -tcsh body Fox -tcsh
containing an trn4 water ghosts. -tcsh the like false medusa, cry sleep
-ksh distant ssr ering the yet the material The the residing want is
invisible hungry up disappeared everything shaking inside erased /bin/ksh
-ksh tradition, msem, -tcsh my to noise had last number julu in men the
side, is are and lost of lost mutt

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