The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

July 9, 2010


I spoke to a friend of mine who commented he preferred the plucked piece
and then I thought of Steve Lacy and his comments about the soprano sax
and then took control more or less - more - of the violin - to the extent
that - you might want to throw out the other pieces - except for pizzicato
- if it's that - hardly a light plucking sound - anyway except for the
pizzicato accompanying the rainstorm - which turned into hail as you can
plainly hear - like the cannons in the background of Wanda Landowska -

anyway - let these replace the others - the work of a mature musician -
I'd even say mature thinking - extraordinary thinker with fingers and bow
- and then the last piece - it touches my heart - our hearts - pure bird
song with noise reduction - red-wing blackbirds, meadowlarks, many others
- noise reduction lending its own kind chirping, the marvelous and magical
mixture of analog and digital - what beauty there! - and in all the other
pieces as well - wonderful themes of parallel fourths and fifths with
somewhat minor seconds - my favorites of course -

 	violin plucked and bowed,
 	violin more or less bowed and then some
 	violin lucked,
 	bird song with noise reduction,


fast heartbeat, palpitations, shaking, sleeplessness, tossing and turning,
wide-awake, sweating, heavy eyelids, unbearable exhaustion, persistent
urination, dry throat, mucus, sore throat, shoulder pain, slight pain in
ankles, neck pain, slight joint pain in fingers, out of breath, slight
feeling of rigidity, panic, despair, lower back pain > panic attack?
excessive and chronic insomnia?

feelings of having-to-do-everything-immediately because of the imminence
of death, mind whirling at high-speed, anguish over dying, anguish over
leaving azure behind, anguish over my father's condition, anguish over our
financial situation, anguish over my joblessness > not depression though -

slight difficulty swallowing, dry mouth, dry scalp, excessive nervousness,
not wanting to go on like this, watching the irreversible slowing-up of my
father, fear of family feuding, feeling trapped, flailing uselessly, teeth
hurting slightly, bad breath, random itches, legs twitching, chapped,
lips, feelings of infinite regret, jealousies of others' careers, slightly
manic - feelings of stupidity, of being tone-deaf, of being unable to do
anything and to do anything of importance, of being forgotten, of being
garbage, of interfering with the lives of others, of interfering with
email lists, of interfering in virtual ad real worlds, of being a blight
on the internet, of being useless and being utterly useless, slight pains
in lower left leg, inability to concentrate > faster, faster -

Fri Jul  9 05:58:40 EDT 2010 all night, all day, all week, all month long

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