Message-ID: <alpine.NEB.2.00.1007090559220.20229@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.aol.com>, Wryting-L <WRYTING-L@listserv.wvu.edu>
Subject: event-description (please no replies)
Date: Fri, 9 Jul 2010 06:00:27 -0400 (EDT)
event-description fast heartbeat, palpitations, shaking, sleeplessness, tossing and turning, wide-awake, sweating, heavy eyelids, unbearable exhaustion, persistent urination, dry throat, mucus, sore throat, shoulder pain, slight pain in ankles, neck pain, slight joint pain in fingers, out of breath, slight feeling of rigidity, panic, despair, lower back pain > panic attack? excessive and chronic insomnia? feelings of having-to-do-everything-immediately because of the imminence of death, mind whirling at high-speed, anguish over dying, anguish over leaving azure behind, anguish over my father's condition, anguish over our financial situation, anguish over my joblessness > not depression though - slight difficulty swallowing, dry mouth, dry scalp, excessive nervousness, not wanting to go on like this, watching the irreversible slowing-up of my father, fear of family feuding, feeling trapped, flailing uselessly, teeth hurting slightly, bad breath, random itches, legs twitching, chapped, lips, feelings of infinite regret, jealousies of others' careers, slightly manic - feelings of stupidity, of being tone-deaf, of being unable to do anything and to do anything of importance, of being forgotten, of being garbage, of interfering with the lives of others, of interfering with email lists, of interfering in virtual ad real worlds, of being a blight on the internet, of being useless and being utterly useless, slight pains in lower left leg, inability to concentrate > faster, faster - Fri Jul 9 05:58:40 EDT 2010 all night, all day, all week, all month long -