The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

my father

 	I want my little girl! I want my father-mother!
    breast my father, I true
    my father For fear I shall become crazed, if I
   background. At this point my father's voice dies to a whisper. He sings
   distance. It is here at the climax of the opera that my father's voice
   said to my father, everything has been falling apart since mother died
   said to my father, everything has been n now with my mother gone and i
  died march and my father born february died june gone i say o my luve s
  the world holds still, my father in hospital, and
When the last person who remembers my father dies, then my father will no
(my father three weeks short of 96)
-- when i see her collusion with my father and his blind spot with her
-- when i see my father rejecting his sons
1940's outfit, sleek, she seemed about 40. before this my father, in his
1953 For years my father made up stories with characters like the Snoxfly
2011 Sept 4, received news my father is dying, from my brother Mark. I'm
As a child, I loved and played with a Japanese abacus my father brought me
Azure and Amie got my father out of the house (which was decorated for his
I have killed my father and was well satisfied. I killed my mother as
I sound either like my father or that old bachelor (me) that lives up-
I wander up and down in my father's caravan.
I'd always been frightened of my father's anger - now it came out in full
I'm hopefully selling some rare books to raise some money as my father
I'm twisted re: my father, as you can well imagine, not in all that great
Just as the fever ends, the fever begins. Thinking of my father's stories,
Katski, my father's companion for nine years - had run out of the house
Odd working on this and re: my mother; my father's in the hospital at the
Perhaps covering half   or now a slow wave my father's caravan
Susquehanna river in Pennsylvania, where my father lives, rose to within
The really sad things, the cat is gone, my father close to tears, and the
There was this ring that my father gave me and I lost it on the
This has been a grim day. Whenever I speak with my father, his hatred
This is compounded by the state of my father, who, we found out today, is
Who set me adrift but my fathers and mothers, releasing non-existent
about my father's being in hospital (on Facebook), I talked about playing
after difficulties with the family over my father - we're in Pennsylvania
after my father's 97th birthday, a new dawn in Second Life
again. I'd always been frightened of my father's anger - now it came out
already dust. Or my father, whose psychological abuse - which he was in no
always sin against my father. i will always sin against my father. my
anam. S.lada my mother does not know my father's mother mother mother
and there will be no father. my father will write this and my father will
as if he asked my father to demonstrate his 'unusual instrument.'
as if my father obliged.
before my father is gone, before i am gone
best. My sister is my father's favorite; my brother was my mother's. My
but the blind eyes of the monk, my father.
chrome. I did leave distraught. I did go back to sleep. Later, my father
don't blame the father for the sins of the young. my father ensured i
ensure my father will write this. my father ensures that my broken
ever to best my father when growing up. he always had to have the last
father battered my mind until my father was my mind battered by my father.
for a station' my father did say. the sun was very bright day and
for my father for al wilson for kathy acker for gerald jones
for that matter, the relationship between my father and the professor. i
from my father"?
having-risen my father near will-go, and him-to will-say I god and our sin
health-care is mediocre, and if it wasn't for my father, I'd have none.
heard Monk around them with my father, at that point just thought noise, I
i am barred from the world and my father
i dreamed of the ocean of 1915, when my father was close to being born
i have tried to make peace with my father
i will die hating my father and hating my mind.
i will see my father dead.
i win with my father. i never could win with my father. my father ensured
i've lost my father. actually i don't know that i have ever found him.
in this dream i am talking with my father who is very old and dying and
language will scream at my broken language. my father ensures that i will
leaves in my father's footsteps. Granite boulders, ledges, frozen creeks,
leaving azure behind, anguish over my father's condition, anguish over our
loss as any other (in spite of my father, who said, It's not like losing a
my father and with him my childhood security
my father lives alone in a large house in a small town
my father lives in, rare hawks backyard. first time ever come here. cannot
my father makes me ill. my father fills me with hatred. my father ensures
my father pinches me between his fingers & white grub emerges
my father sits at home alone
my father told me i'm a bottomless pit i had a fit
my father told me i'm a putrescent lump lived in the dump
my father told me i'm an absorptive clay i'd rue the day
my father told me i'm an endless fool i broke the rule
my father told me i'm an infinite hole i'm an old mole
my father told me i'm the bane of fox lived under rocks
my father turned 95 last year and will feel it until the end.
my mother appears. she's thirty, we're talking she tells me my father is
negotiates with my sister, my sister talks to my father, my brother and I
nightmare of my father ensured i would never have a night without
nightmares. the violence of my father was only the language of my father.
now and the death of my father to come, a closed set & i would die first
odd to think I saved my father's life given our horrendous relationship
of my father ensured i would never have a world without screaming. the
or is a war criminal or not, I began to think again about my father...
quarrel with my father, again that's close to it
realized the oldest person in the world can never die. my father
remembering my father's behavior towards me
returned. The cat - Katski, my father's companion for nine years - had run
similar: an, I, we, my father. Above: a thatched hut, nunnery, Buddhist
since the latter, my father and I hardly speak. I don't know how to get
speaker all at once, my daughter's voice, my mother's, my father's. A rock
species) is as bad a loss as any other (in spite of my father, who said,
still haven't gotten over the death of my mother and my father's dislike
stopped speaking to my sister and my father - I couldn't handle their
style. I did leave distraught. I did go back to sleep. Later, my father
tested it on my father, who's 90 and reads history and literature
that. my father ensured i would never challenge my father. the screaming
the death of my father as well/ fictitious/ it plays a role/ fury
the language of my father ensured the violence of language. i will take
the last tangible money my father left behind before his death.
the time." "It was my father's ill health that I went back to Australia."
the woods with my father always leading, and now he's 80. I need to get
there was dark night, lightning out, it was my father who may have died,
thing; i certainly felt like a family wedge, my father returning from the
think this is a bother; admire my father who watches tv day in day out;
this morning in the small town my father lives in, there were four rare
through my father, who I didn't know, feared, and, after childhood, tried
to 20 and 30 belowIn time I learned that my father had passed awayHe once
to Abibi perhaps (Avi, Hebrew, "my father," "Aba," Yiddish). Izaza is also
try to talk to my father. The house is now under lock and key and Azure
up. It's odd to think I saved my father's life given our horrendous
view, having just read the book. oh yeah i lost my father about 27 years
was a coward, hiding from everyone. when i was young, my father dominated
was the name of one of the creatures in stories my father used to tell us,
was thinking of azure, of my father, my daughter. i didn't feel there were
weak in relation to my father; tendency towards crying at the slightest
weak, smart but unfocused. And from never being touched by my father,
wedding; I stopped speaking to my sister and my father - I couldn't
which my father received the seed, my mother the blood, my nurse the milk
will not hire him. He drinks with my father. Thank God I have a girl
with my father in a healthier fashion, even the world. i still live there;
with my father's state is both unnerving and painful, everything comes
with my father, and often with my sister and her family. My mother held
works; from my father I received books on music; L. has traded theory; L.
would never get over my father. my father screamed at me constantly. could
xrays of my foot and various blood workups. We visited my father for his
yes, we found that going through things at my father's home - among the
young, my father would go walking in the woods with me, and these were my
younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father; let us make him drink