The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

May 13, 2013

Experiments in Music

- Ed Schneider alto sax -
- Alan Sondheim suroz electronics saz baritone horn - (best)

Sometimes I feel I don't know what I'm doing that
I'm not only a fraud but a sinister fraud. is this
music any good at all? Ed's great, I'm in the
background as a result of recording mismatch,
there's feedback and all sorts of messiness; we're
all about to record and I think I'm heading for
the slag heap near Kingston Pennsylvania where I
was born and attempted to be raised. Depressing,
we're near recording and I'm swallowing my sound.
But I may be wrong on all of this. Comment: Of
course you're not wrong. Like+.

holding on

<08:30 Alan>

Last things done on main_street
Alan says: help

Alan says: nothing is here, what i want to do is transform the
thing, something needing a talisman, something to tap into the
meaning of the universe - yes, i've said it! - and this, mind
you, in a manner that will bring forth healing or a knowledge that
there are grounds, the slightest of them, holding the slightest
particle of the self, which, perhaps genetically driven, might
suppose to contain a vestige of consciousness, that a doubled
consciousness might access, after death, one after an other

Alan says: looking here for it as the slate wipes itself clean,
perhaps now and again, perhaps inadvertently, while outside the
beach and its pebbles, sea and its glowering clouds, heavy with
rain, might not wash away, might not wash it away, i hope at best
for the survival of the pronoun! that what remains from me might
yet be antecedent

Alan says: within and without the realm of the talker as i carry
these words with me, sea birds in a suffocating air, feathers
awash with feathers

Alan exclaims: the hope is that just a twist - a twist! - of a
word or singularity, the displacement of a single letter perhaps
at most! - might result in that change that would give peace unto
me, a sleeping deeper than any before, and the possibility of
waking, refreshed, on the other side - just on the other side!

Alan says: i cannot rest even if this proves me wrong, something
to which i will never bear witness - i refuse to bear witness! -
keeping a stream or rivulet of meaning, attaching such to one or
another blade of grass - moss! - the fin of a tadpole -

Alan says: is this not a formation, is this not a grant of sorts

Alan exclaims: i won't wait around for an answer! i know what
you're going to say! i won't wait!

<08:30 Alan>

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