The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

October 5, 2013

most of the people i see in this town live in this town.
some of them have come to this town, they are in this
town, i see them here, i am in this town. when she was
on top screwing me, the crucifix went in and out my
mouth, or in and out of my mouth. he said to her i was
a nuisance and said to me she was a nuisance. she left
her diary open on the table and it said screwing me was
like being with a rat but i was paying the way. i never
understood maoism or marxism in practice. the inerrancy
of any position produces a screwing machine and a
killing machine. retribution is never an option. listen
and you must salvage the theoretical work in the middle
of all of this. she gave all of us worms and said when
you sleep with hippies you take your chances. i had to
stay with him after the killer junkie went scratching
at his door. should i have written in the midst of. am
i now in the midst of my life or, duree duree, does
that depend on how near to the end i might be. what is
called the further end. she wanted to be a cockroach
on my wall and then future culture would have been
different. i remember jerusalem. my life of bad
behavior, the regret of use and abuse. my life of good
behavior, the regret of used and abused. but i was
always under suspicion, tainted. i have always been
unacceptable but i was paving the way. all of our
dirty little secrets are all of us all of the time.
this was going to be a story but catapulted. in the
town there are people and to get from the city to the
town i must not miss a step. the body in translation
is as near to continuity as any other, as possibility
or potential. the jump cut comes in the text bending
any moment into an other but in the read the bending
entangles and the jump cut smears across semantics or
a form of semantic lounging. i stayed with al and the
junkie left, but not before leaving shit everywhere in
the hall, off to do another killing.

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