The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

November 13, 2013

Thoughtful and Thoughtless (best)

erhu with Azure Carter, song


oh these go both directions, where is the thinking with
the voice and where the thinking with the erhu, or the
loss of erhu thinking, loss of the voice, or the erhu
contingent upon the voice: all these directions, all the
tiny deaths, all the fraughtful stress


repeating myself in the new land, the body unformed at first,
then something, i don't know, not exactly a default, a new new
body shape dominates, somewhere carrying these things around
with it. i've used these before, this is a way of staking a
claim in a space i still can't call my own, set my home here,
stake something out, homestead. so i don't sleep at night and
the horrors dominate again and i wish i could live forever in
this translucent land and there's almost no one else around, you
know this stuff, just a hint of dead sexuality, midnight or
twilight behaviors, the gone world, lost worlds - nothing edible
but it's - there's got to be some hope somewhere, if I were
there or you for example, what might i do - i'd be dead until
you came along and motivated me - the moments when nothing
happens, no one's around - they wouldn't be anything for me, not
even jumpcuts - i'd live in this space when you're there moving
the controls, talking - i'd have disappeared when you're doing
something else - me and my clumsy outfits - like a little flirt
in the midst of a graveyard -

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