The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive


POEM:

How could I write those things?
How could I imagine I'd get away with it?
I live in the vacuum state beset on all sides by the
virtual.
How could I think that this work is anything but mediocre?
I've made a mess of the body and sexuality.
I've completely screwed up politics and social media.
Now I stare at our faces in the mirror.
I want a better future Azure than my dismal clothing!
The vacuum is my friend annihilating my thoughts
I have to avoid the bad thoughts.
I made a mess of my own body and its sexuality.
I look at my body and say "its sexuality."
And look at my body and say "its corruption and collapse."
After I die I wish my ashes scattered on my ashes.
Tomorrow I will speak about the Holocaust.
The day after I will speak about holocausts.
I am sure I will speak about extinctions in general.
I will exclude my own because that will be so depressing.
Azure and I will take a meandering walk.
We begin at our place where we sleep and continue.
Sometimes sooner we turn around.
We turn around after we can't see our place any more.
We know the way back through the city funnel.
The funnel is dark and its cloaca spills into our place.
Realistically it spills into the doorway of our place.
There are boys and girls drunk there and broken bricks.
The bricks were put into place but snow has broken them.
O bricks where are thy other bricks.
The city is poor and has no replacement bricks.
The city is poor and has no replacement city.
I contemplate the holo-deck and -causts.
Sun heats the stuff and it breaks down.
Rubber breaks down in sun and wood cracks.
Everything makes a sound then silence.
How could I write these things?
How could I imagine I'd get away with it?
My writing is hateful.
My sexuality leans out and crashes.
My body follows suit tout suite.
Here come the virtual particles.
Semen washes off and is extinct.
I am excluded from exclusion but this by no means.
We meander a visit.
How could I be so stupid?

KEY:

gine I'd get ww wy with it? y with it?

y with it? How could I im cuum stte beset on te beset on te
beset on ll sides by the ll sides by the

ll sides by the I live in the v How could I think tht this work
is How could I think th t this work is nything but mediocre? t
this work is nything but mediocre? nything but mediocre?

  mess of the body nd sexulity.

nd sexulity. I've m lity. de nd socil medil medi l medi. .

. I've completely screwed up politics re t our ft our f t our
fces in the mirror. ces in the mirror.

ces in the mirror. Now I st
  better future Azure thn my disml clothing!

n my disml clothing! I w l clothing! nt cuum is my friend
nnihilnnihil nnihilting my thoughts ting my thoughts

ting my thoughts The v ve to void the bvoid the b void the bd
thoughts. d thoughts.

d thoughts. I h de mess of my own body nd its sexu
  mess of my own body nd its sexulity.

nd its sexulity. I m nd sy "its sexulity."

y "its sexulity." I look lity." t my body t my body nd snd coll
nd sy "its corruption pse."

y "its corruption nd collAnd look nd collpse." t my body pse."
nd s shes scttered on my ttered on my ttered on my shes. shes.

shes. After I die I wish my k bout the Holocbout the Holoc bout
the Holocusts. usts.

usts. Tomorrow I will spe bout holocusts. y bout extinctions in
generl. I l. m sure I will spe I will exclude my own becuse thI
will exclude my own bec use tht will be so depressing. use th t
will be so depressing. t will be so depressing.

  mendering wAzure ndering wlk. nd I will t lk. ke t our plce
where we sleep ce where we sleep ce where we sleep nd continue.
nd continue.

nd continue. We begin n't see our plce We turn ce ny more. round
ny more. fter we c We know the wy bWe know the w y bck through
the city funnel. y b ck through the city funnel. ck through the
city funnel.

c spills into our plThe funnel is d
  spills into our plce. rk ce. nd its clo lly it spills into the
doorwy of our plce.

y of our plce. Re re boys nd girls drunk there nd girls drunk
there nd girls drunk there nd broken bricks. nd broken bricks.

nd broken bricks. There The bricks were put into plce but snow
hThe bricks were put into pl ce but snow hs broken them. ce but
snow h s broken them. s broken them.

nd hs no repls no repl s no replcement bricks. cement bricks.

cement bricks. The city is poor The city is poor nd hnd h cement
city. The city is poor te the holo-deck nd -cnd -c nd -cust.
ust.

ust. I contempl ts the computer nd they brend they bre nd they
brek down. k down.

k down. The sun he ks down in sun nd wood crnd wood cr nd wood
crcks. cks.

cks. Rubber bre Everything mkes Everything m kes sound then
silence. kes
  sound then silence.
  sound then silence.

How could I imging I'd get ging I'd get ging I'd get ww lls with
crlity le
  crsh. ns out sh. nd f Here come the virtul pHere come the virtu
l prticles. l p rticles. rticles.

Semen wshes off Semen w shes off nd is extinct. shes off nd is
extinct. nd is extinct.

m excluded from exclusion but this by no mens. m excluded from
exclusion but this by no me ns. ns.

We mender We me nder visit. nder
  visit.
  visit.

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