Message-ID: <alpine.NEB.2.00.1409132018200.26196@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.wvu.edu>, Wryting-L <WRYTING-L@listserv.wvu.edu>
Subject: Damning Criticism - mashup, original, and elimination:
Date: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 20:20:36 -0400 (EDT)
Damning Criticism - mashup, original, and elimination: http://www.alansondheim.org/critical.jpg Constantly I'm afraid. I'm I'm afraid. I'm tone-deaf. afraid. I'm I I'm write I'm tone-deaf. out I tone-deaf. of write tone-deaf. of out I of total write total ignorance. out total If of total I total total I ignorance. ignorance. write If ignorance. about write If about about If about violence I about from write violence a about violence subaltern from violence position, a violence position, subaltern from position, position, a I feel subaltern I I'm position, I untouchable. I I untouchable. feel feel I I'm feel always I I'm always always I'm always feel untouchable. always suicide I feel is always feel an suicide feel option is suicide option an suicide option option is and that an and makes option and me and and me that that doubly makes that untouchable. doubly makes untouchable. untouchable. makes untouchable. I me untouchable. work doubly I far untouchable. I too I I fast, far work fast, too work write fast, far write far too write too fast, write much, write write much, far far always too far feel always too feel feel too feel literally much, literally under always literally the feel literally gun, literally literally that the under that gun, under if that the if I gun, if slow that if up, if if up, I I I'll slow I collapse. up, slow collapse. collapse. slow collapse. However up, However much I'll However you collapse. However tear However However my you much my tear much work my you work work tear work I'll my work tear work apart, tear apart, apart, it I'll apart, apart tear I'll apart apart I'll apart first tear first and it first far apart first more first first drastically. far and drastically. more and I'm drastically. far I'm I'm more I'm I'm more I'm jealous I'm untouchable. jealous untouchable. untouchable. of I'm untouchable. anyone jealous I'm anyone anyone I'm with with jealous with a of with position anyone with and with with an a a an and a income. an position income. income. and income. afraid and income. of an I'm of I'm I'm everything, afraid I'm my of afraid my my afraid shadow, shadow, of shadow, the everything, shadow, shadows my shadow, of shadow, shadow, others. the the others. of the If others. shadows If If of If it of it for others. it for it it Azure, weren't it I for weren't I Azure, weren't wouldn't wouldn't for wouldn't be Azure, wouldn't here I wouldn't and wouldn't be that's be be that's and be a that's here a a and a terrible and terrible for that's terrible for terrible terrible her burden terrible to for burden to her burden bear. bear. for bear. I her bear. lie to bear. in bear. I bed I I bed in I for bed lie for for in for hours in hours in bed hours the hours hours morning, in hours wide-awake, the in wide-awake, morning, in my my the my mind morning, my running wide-awake, my wild my mind until mind mind until wild mind disaster until running disaster disaster wild seems seems wild seems so until seems imminent disaster seems that so seems I imminent so I that so must must imminent must get that must up, I must get must get moving, get get moving, up, get escape moving, up, escape escape get myself. myself. get myself. I moving, myself. think escape myself. I'm I myself. far think I far I'm I more more think more brilliant I'm more than far brilliant I more brilliant am. brilliant brilliant am. than brilliant I'm am. than I'm I'm I ashamed ashamed I ashamed of am. ashamed my I'm ashamed body of of and my of that body of that and my that makes body that me and makes turn that makes inside-out, makes makes inside-out, me makes so inside-out, me so so turn much much turn much of inside-out, much my so much earlier much of work my of was earlier of was work my was sexual. earlier sexual. I've work sexual. become was sexual. ash, sexual. sexual. ash, I've sexual. I ash, I've I I become dream dream become dream ash, ash, dream cinders. I dream I dream ash, jump cinders. ash, from I ash, from jump cinders. from instrument I instrument to jump instrument instrument, from instrument I instrument instrument I to to can't instrument, to sit can't instrument, sit sit instrument, sit still, I sit I can't sit have sit still, to I still, play have still, play to I play all have all of to all these play all things, all all things, of of I these of have I these have have these have to things, have excel I to at have to something excel to physical. at to physical. something excel physical. physical. at I'm completely something I'm invisible physical. I'm to I'm I'm to completely completely others invisible completely unless others invisible unless unless invisible unless I to unless blurt others I out, unless I assert I I myself, out, blurt myself, assert blurt jump myself, out, jump into assert jump a myself, jump fray jump jump fray into into of a into my of a my my a my own fray own creation. of own Deep my own down own own I Deep creation. I down creation. know I Deep know no down know place I know is know know is no no safe place no for is place for for place for me. is me. I safe me. find for me. theory me. me. so find I so theory I decayed so find decayed decayed theory decayed I so decayed believe decayed that believe that that I I that can believe I can can I can produce believe produce it I produce by can produce rote produce produce with by it with rote it no with by no no rote no whatsoever. rote no I no consequence I consequence consequence can't whatsoever. consequence get I whatsoever. I'm tone-deaf. I write out of total ignorance. If I write about violence from a subaltern position, I feel I'm untouchable. I always feel suicide is an option and that makes me doubly untouchable. I work far too fast, write far too much, always feel literally under the gun, that if I slow up, I'll collapse. However much you tear my work apart, I'll tear it apart first and far more drastically. I'm untouchable. I'm jealous of anyone with a position and an income. I'm afraid of everything, my shadow, the shadows of others. If it weren't for Azure, I wouldn't be here and that's a terrible burden for her to bear. I lie in bed for hours in the morning, wide-awake, my mind running wild until disaster seems so imminent that I must get up, get moving, escape myself. I think I'm far more brilliant than I am. I'm ashamed of my body and that makes me turn inside-out, so much of my earlier work was sexual. I've become ash, I dream ash, cinders. I jump from instrument to instrument, I can't sit still, I have to play all of these things, I have to excel at something physical. I'm completely invisible to others unless I blurt out, assert myself, jump into a fray of my own creation. Deep down I know no place is safe for me. I find theory so decayed that I believe I can produce it by rote with no consequence whatsoever. I can't get rid of corrosion of the world's horrors, until I'm eviscerated, until I disappear. I'm so frightened of death, I can't watch anything dealing with it, online or offline. My whole career is created from kludges, making-do, bricolage. Goodness is invisible to me. I can't understand religion, religious belief; reincarnation seems an absurd fiction. I believe that abjection, corrosion, decay, and suffering underlie everything, and everything I do; culture attempts a bulwark against the cosmos, and culture always collapses into violence. I'm not only not untouchable, I'm the most fragile of creatures - possessing no redemption, nothing but a deep belief in annihilation. I'm so inconceivably selfish, I give things away to prove otherwise. I believe we are all inhabited by destruction, that we all ride the nearest fetishized shiny surfaces, that we all believe we're beckoned, that whatever is said within the ecologies of the digital, disappears as soon as it is spoken. I think I'm so smart. I thank this is enough to prove I'm so smart and to prove I'm so stupid as to feel any insipid thought/music/image/video of mine is unbearably original. I'm unbearable. I'm tone-deaf and my music attempts to cover that up. I can't sing a note. I can't write either and I'm too self-absorbed to notice that. This spew isn't original, even within my own work. There's so much of my writing that it seems to be infinitely repetitive; it's certainly unreadable. My thoughts are borrowed, my words are borrowed; what's original with me is woefully inexact. I'm bad at plagiarism, worse at originality. I stupidly feel if I keep writing, it will start making sense, that brilliance is just around the corner. Brilliance is the other. My body sinks into my body. I'm constantly afraid. I'm constantly afraid. I'm tone-deaf. I write out of total ignorance. If about violence from a subaltern position, feel untouchable. always suicide is an option and that makes me doubly work far too fast, much, literally under the gun, if slow up, I'll collapse. However much you tear my apart, it apart first more drastically. jealous anyone with position income. afraid everything, shadow, shadows others. weren't for Azure, wouldn't be here that's terrible burden her to bear. lie in bed hours morning, wide-awake, mind running wild until disaster seems so imminent must get moving, escape myself. think brilliant than am. ashamed body turn inside-out, earlier was sexual. I've become ash, dream cinders. jump instrument instrument, can't sit still, have play all these things, excel at something physical. completely invisible others unless blurt out, assert myself, into fray own creation. Deep down know no place safe me. find theory decayed believe can produce by rote consequence whatsoever. rid corrosion world's horrors, eviscerated, disappear. frightened death, watch anything dealing it, online or offline. My whole career created kludges, making-do, bricolage. Goodness understand religion, religious belief; reincarnation absurd fiction. abjection, corrosion, decay, suffering underlie everything do; culture attempts bulwark against cosmos, collapses violence. not only untouchable, most fragile creatures - possessing redemption, nothing but deep belief annihilation. inconceivably selfish, give things away prove otherwise. we are inhabited destruction, ride nearest fetishized shiny surfaces, we're beckoned, whatever said within ecologies digital, disappears as soon spoken. smart. thank this enough smart stupid any insipid thought/music/image/video mine unbearably original. unbearable. tone-deaf music cover up. sing note. either self-absorbed notice that. This spew isn't original, even work. There's writing infinitely repetitive; it's certainly unreadable. thoughts borrowed, words borrowed; what's original woefully inexact. bad plagiarism, worse originality. stupidly keep writing, will start making sense, brilliance just around corner. Brilliance other. sinks body. constantly afraid.