The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

May 23, 2015

ther teror in land nam craking providence guitar
and banjo providence guitar
and banjo

it was dark and miserable, who could eny deny the supine
body, parched, waiting for pleasures and pains, his and
her bound together in this darkened moment of desiccation
and untoward acts of ecstasy and vengeance.
not me and not you and that were said to be true of al
of us s/he sed 2 no 1 in particlar wh o were listening
2 th sounds of bones craking

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$ now there were more terror 2 be sure en th land
/usr/local/bin/ksh: now: not found
$ and we wer found ther
/usr/local/bin/ksh: and: not found

ESC[22;1H^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@ESC[7m^@^@^@^@File Nam

"He also spoke of their character of production [through the
force of contaminated actions and afflictive emotions, their]
character of disintegration, abandonment [of the contaminated
actions and afflictive emotions that are the causes of the
contaminated aggregates], and through knowledge [that the
entities of the aggregates are like a disease or are not
established as a substantial existent self]." (Jeffrey Hopkins,
Emptiness in the Mind-Only School of Buddhism: Dynamic Responses
to Dzong-ka-ba's _The Essence of Eloquence: 1,_ University of
California Press 1999, pp. 76-77, Dzong-ka-ba's summary at the
beginning of the Paramarthasamudgata Chapter of the _Sutra
Unraveling the Thought._)

Why I love to play music.

1. I can.
2. I'm good at it.
3. It's good exercise.
4. It fills me with wonder.
5. Time slows up.
6. My lungs strengthen.
7. I don't have to listen to the street.
8. My depression lightens.
9. I tend to something besides me.
10. I pretend to do new things.
11. I pretend to explore new structures.
12. It puts me in a 'zone.'
13. My tinnitus is forgotten.
14. I communicate to someone else.
15. I train my ear.
16. I don't think about anything.
17. My hands and fingers grow stronger.
18. My hands and fingers grow quicker.
19. The music pushes me.
20. I inhabit a world of comfortable discomfort.
21. I go to the limit of my ability.
22. I explore microhistories around me.
23. My instruments present an anthropology.
24. I both silence and open myself.
25. I dwell in the world.
26. Neurosis recedes.
27. I am aware of sound in time.
28. I'm always surprised by where I am.
29. I do something I'm not trained to do.
30. I burn calories of creativity.
31. Music is the body's interiority.
32. Later theorizing is crystalline and clear.
33. Enlightenment is slowly approached.
34. I hear my singing voice (I cannot sing).
35. I don't have to worry about someone else's rhythm.
36. I trust my instruments for perfect playing.
37. Wood and metal, reed and nylon, greet me.
38. I can do something others can't.
39. It's the only sport I'm good at.
40. Practice and creation become one.
41. I become one with objects and dynamics.
42. I become one with sound and movement.
43. I become one with breath and physical reach.
44. I become sound and I become.
45. I dwell in becoming.
46. I sound and I dwell in sounding.
47. I dialog with and tend to my instruments.
48. Temperature, pressure, and humidity control me.
49. My control is given as a gift.
50. I am in a state of furious peace.
51. My speed is a positive, not a liability.
52. I explore untoward structures.
53. I inhabit these structure and extend them.
54. The world is sounding and amazing.
55. I will return to the world enriched.
56. I can listen to the world and what I have made.
57. I can listen to the making of the world.
58. I can listen to the world making me.
59. I can do something well and can do good.
60. My daemons momentarily disappear.
61. My daemons momentarily return.
62. My music is a gift for the people I love.
63. My music is uncanny.
64. I don't have to worry about tonic return.
65. The return to the world is never the same.
66. I inhabit an inconceivable sonic architecture.
67. I commune with others who commune with me.
68. I am part of a sonic world of friends.
69. Time stops and I am still alive.
70. I will leave something behind when I die.
71. I will leave gifts and dwellings for others.
72. And I will never have to worry about tonic return.

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