Message-ID: <alpine.NEB.2.11.1506132333190.13208@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.wvu.edu>, Wryting-L <WRYTING-L@listserv.wvu.edu>
Subject: storm brew
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 2015 23:36:03 -0400 (EDT)
storm brew http://www.alansondheim.org/denv24.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/stormbrew.mp3 storm is brewing out here, hasapi kept going out of tune, wind hollowed, continued the resonance of the rear sound-hole, finally coming to an end, rain and wind were picking up, i held on to what territory i had, submergence, holding the cough back as well for a few moments as if something were tearing at the music, rending the fabric wrote my friend earlier "I'm glad about ESP, I feel I've reached a serious dead-end in Providence [,,,]. At least with music, what I do is what I do myself or with friends, there are enough people that will put a cd out, at least so far. So I can be as neurotic or whatever, and still do ok, and music's more of a common denominator. Everything else I do is negotiation and I'm not good at that, it goes through institutions and classes, and I don't teach and am unfortunately independent for the rest of my life. But I can pick up, say, the banjo I have now, and do things others can't, and it's within my aegis. I've been trying on the other hand to get a book out of my theoretical work, beyond the Writing Under one, and that won't happen - nothing will come of it. So I feel I have to look even more inward, before I totally collapse... it's not a great world out there if you're over the age of 40, much less my 72 -" then there's the hasapi going out of tune but always somehow coming back _into it_ as if there were a home there even in the wind and rain, doing what i do best maybe, braiding sound, still uselessly hoping for a breakthrough otherwise - book published, big concert, promotion, amazing grant, something curing the gnawing of my throat against my throat, that thin closure - looking up and through the Local Cluster, amazed at the confluence of processes resulting in life on this planet, such a think edge of fecundity in the midst of catastrophe, annihilation - the Local Cluster coming closer, the storm increasing, flashes now outside, where i was something about the rain, the brewing storm, soon i'll remember, i'll remember soon -