The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

January 9, 2016


i'm always trying to find a home away from illusion and
misrecognition, somewhere i might be comfortable, with good
friends, community. when i leave a place i'm always taking with
me dozens of 'homeland' photographs, as if they can pull me back
to a dwelling that will hold me and azure forever. i'm always
failing at this as well, everything seems illusory and the world
is far harsher than i could ever have imagined as a child, and
as a child i had a picture of the hydrogen bomb by my bedside.
it was scary but it was distant, it didn't gnaw from within. now
the world seems colder, more violent, with great sadness and
upheavals everywhere, i'm thinking of so many species plunging
to extinctions, a planet which can only be described, now, as
trashed, and the feeling that there is no place called home
anymore. i can't live in illusion, grace and life itself are
illusions, i'm teetering, can one fall into light, i don't know,
i haven't heard of that but i'm listening, ear close to the
ground, listening for the slightest signs, hoping against hope,
that somewhere in the universe, for someone, something, is a
dwelling place of eternal comfort, homeful and hopeful, if only
a tiny place, a small hut, small community, something outside
the illusions of the light of day.

the carapace the flight the from the cinema

the carapace the flight the into the cinema, the projections the
among the projections, the flight the with the carapace, the
achilles the and the shields, the magical the warrior the
imagery, the world the below the a the glance the of the a the

of the cinema, one, of the cinema, two, of the cinema, three, of
the cinema, four, of the cinema [...]

of the video sequence, segment, interval, inscription, duration,
span, set, subset, of the infinitesimal subset, set, span,
duration, inscription, interval, segment, sequence, video, of
the infinitesimal video [...]

of Achilles it may be said a mythical Greek hero of the Iliad; a
foremost Greek warrior at the siege of Troy; when he was a baby
his mother tried to make him immortal by bathing him in a magic
river but the heel by which she held him with her hand or hands
remained vulnerable, his heel of infinitesimal flotation
adjacent to the great ship Phaeton, called the Achilles

Love, (loosening of limbs and image,)

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