Message-ID: <alpine.NEB.2.11.1601090018080.6181@panix3.panix.com>
From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
To: Cyb <cybermind@listserv.wvu.edu>, Wryting-L <WRYTING-L@listserv.wvu.edu>
Subject: cine, homeland
Date: Sat, 9 Jan 2016 00:22:59 -0500 (EST)
cine http://www.alansondheim.org/cine6.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/cine.mp4 http://www.alansondheim.org/cine1.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/cine2.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/cine3.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/cine4.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/cine5.jpg http://www.alansondheim.org/cine7.jpg i'm always trying to find a home away from illusion and misrecognition, somewhere i might be comfortable, with good friends, community. when i leave a place i'm always taking with me dozens of 'homeland' photographs, as if they can pull me back to a dwelling that will hold me and azure forever. i'm always failing at this as well, everything seems illusory and the world is far harsher than i could ever have imagined as a child, and as a child i had a picture of the hydrogen bomb by my bedside. it was scary but it was distant, it didn't gnaw from within. now the world seems colder, more violent, with great sadness and upheavals everywhere, i'm thinking of so many species plunging to extinctions, a planet which can only be described, now, as trashed, and the feeling that there is no place called home anymore. i can't live in illusion, grace and life itself are illusions, i'm teetering, can one fall into light, i don't know, i haven't heard of that but i'm listening, ear close to the ground, listening for the slightest signs, hoping against hope, that somewhere in the universe, for someone, something, is a dwelling place of eternal comfort, homeful and hopeful, if only a tiny place, a small hut, small community, something outside the illusions of the light of day.