The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

Football In Arrears!

Tommy: Wow, where did the fourth down go?!

Tommy: I think the ball's still on the field?
Johnny: Maybe the other team got it?
Tommy: They're looking for it too!!!

Juan: Here we are in tiny town, we have a goalpost!!
Xavier: Which side is the goal?
Juan: The other side from the ball!
Xavier: Curses! We're foiled!!

Tommy: I'm confused! Shouldn't handballs be called!!!?
Johnny? They're raining handballs!!! Curses!!!

Tommy: We haven't had a down in twenty minutes!!!
Xavier: We have!!! And everyone's got a red card!!!

Juan: Look! The ball's gone over the goalposts!!!
Xavier: Someone should go pick it up!!

Tommy: I don't know how to use my feet!
Xavier: I don't know how to use my hands!

Juan: You owe us three goals from last time!
Johnny: Will you settle for three kicks?
Juan: I will throw them from the corner!
Johnny: Then that has settled our three goals!
Tommy: Don't touch our ball!
Xavier: I won't!

Tommy: OFFSIDES!!!!
Xavier: Then I take the goal back with my feet!
Juan: Your hands are good!
Xavier: Seven points! Overtime!

Overtime: Now we play for real!
Xavier: I won't!
Tommy: Handball!
Johnny: Pass the ball to me!
Juan: Fumble, huddle and kick!
Tommy: Handball! Handball!

Overtime: Penalty kicks!
Juan: Yay!
Johnny: I just made a big extra point!
Tommy: In the net! You lose!
Posts: Posts! Posts! Don't hit me!
Xavier: The ball has disappeared!

Juan: The ball has been taken!
Tommy: The ball has been captured!
Johnny: No ball for the last down!
Xavier: No ball for the last half!

All: Football in arrears!
Overtime: I declare everything!
Posts: I win!
Ball: Where am I?

Red Cards: Where is everyone?

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(14 to 3, 3 wins!)

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