The Alan Sondheim Mail Archive

the new world

http://www.alansondheim.org/newworld19.jpg

http://www.alansondheim.org/auto1.mp3

http://www.alansondheim.org/newworld20.jpg
http://www.alansondheim.org/newworld22.jpg
http://www.alansondheim.org/newworld23.jpg

back @ Toronto, the newbuilding fallingdown construction
continues, rampant, annihilating neighborhoods and difference,
the presence, pre-sense, post-sense of erasure and catastrophe -
everywhere the contusions of anonymity, scars as a city is
destroyed. sounds rise from the ashes but as such are ephemeral,
obtrusive whispers. the new world feels nothing towards whatever
remnants are present in the rubble - neither this nor that, the
new world self-disposes, disappears in the process of its
gray creation. look/see the hammers at work, hammers stored i'd
imagine in the very foundations of the ensuing drab construc-
tion. I'm left speechless, but speech itself is drained, doesn't
matter, possess no ontology, occupies no continuum. so here I
am, playing to save myself, distraught and watching parts of
this city I love collapse just as central Brooklyn collapsed
around us. think of an epidemic of walls, exclusivities, money
passed hand-to-hand, or the stakes of high finances on the
backs of those living in these structures. the opposite's also
true, of course, but just as deadly - see for example July 2018
Harper's magazine, Death of a Great American City: The fall of
New York and the urban crisis of affluence, by Kenneth Baker. Or
go back to Davis' City of Quartz. Or look around you. by the way
i always hear of the insufficiency of the past, the necessity
for dense packing with increasing plenitudes of amenities, the
requisite for expansion; at the same time i always hear of the
necessity for using less, reducing inequalities and their
accompanying plenitudes of amenities. & then again, I'm only an
ignorant flaneur in this parts, as in every other, as within
myself for that matter, the multitudes within, confined by flesh
always already on the way out -

& so playing to save myself, the music above, and culling below:
this early morning saving work keeping me alive, better now than
never etc. It's keeping me exhausted, simultaneously working on
so things i am ashamed of keeping me awake at night itself
manifest, something keeping me on track and the track a little
the plateau3 world) (against depression) (keeping me alive)
(against
    	things i am ashamed of keeping me awake at night driving
that's the only thing keeping me going) - it's the early morning
the qin keeping me sane.
-    -----things i AM ashAMed of keeping me awake at night
      (keeping me alive) (against away from you, Joan - theorizing
      itself is denial, keeping me alive

-- Joan, who does not exist, who appears from an alternative
fiction, as if these buildings still had life in them. & as if
we still lived in them. & as if we were still alive.

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